d
out of the window! "Only a pair of hands," did you say? So it _may_
be--but we all know _who_ it is that "Finds some mischief still For
idle hands to do"--and there we have an illustration of it, my dear.

[_She shakes herself down in her sealskins with virtuous disapproval._

_The Unsophisticated Father_ (_who has been roaring with laughter_).
Capital! It is amazingly clever, 'pon my word! Can't imagine how they
do these things--can _you_, VIVVIE? [_To Up-to-Date Child._

_Miss Vivien._ Oh, well I've seen so much conjuring at parties, you
know, Father, that I don't notice it particularly,--but it's nice to
see _you_ so amused!

_The U. F._ I'm _young_, you see, VIVVIE; but I hope you're not bored?

MISS V. No, I'm not _bored_--only I thought there'd be some Serpentine
dancing, and more of the _Music Hall_ about it.

_The U. F._ Music Hall! Why, what do _you_ know about Music Halls, eh?

_Miss V._ (_with calm superiority_). Several of their songs--if you
call _that_ anything.

_The U. F._ I should be inclined to call it a good deal too much!

_Miss V._ (_compassionately_). Would you? Poor dear Father! But you
never _were_ very modern, were you?

[_A Blind-folded Lady on the Stage has been reading and adding up
figures on a black board, and now offers to tell the day of the week
of any person's birth in the audience._

_Her Colleague._ Will some gentleman kindly oblige me with the date of
his birth?

_The Fiancee._ Now, JACK, tell yours. I _want_ you to.

_Jack_ (_in an unnaturally gruff voice_). Fourteenth of February,
eighteen-sixty-nine!

_The Blindfolded Lady_ (_with the air of the Delphic Pythia_).
Yes--_that_ fell upon a Monday. [_Applause._

_Her Coll._ Is that correct, Sir?

_Jack._ Don't know.

[_He reddens, and tries to look unconscious._

_Her Coll._ Now I will ask the Lady if she can mention some event of
importance that took place on the same date.

_The Bl. L._ Let me think. Yes. (_Solemnly._) On the same
date, in the year seventeen-hundred-and-thirty-seven, goloshes were
first invented! [_Loud applause._

_Miss V._ (_as the pair retire_). Well, thank goodness, we've seen the
last of that beastly black-board. I didn't come here to add up sums.
What is it next? Oh, a "Farmyard Imitator." I expect that will be
rather rot, Father, don't you?

[_Enter a Gentleman in evening dress who gives realistic imitations of
various live-stock._

_The Country Cousin._ That's _exactly