The Project Gutenberg EBook of Punch, Or The London Charivari, Vol. 101.
October 17, 1891, by Various

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Title: Punch, Or The London Charivari, Vol. 101. October 17, 1891

Author: Various

Release Date: November 15, 2004 [EBook #14053]

Language: English

Character set encoding: ASCII

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PUNCH,

OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

VOL. 101.

October 17, 1891.

THE AUTOMATIC PHYSIOGNOMIST.

SCENE--_The German Exhibition, near an ingenious machine
constructed to reveal the character and future of a person
according to the colour of his or her hair, for the small
consideration of one penny. A party of Pleasure-seekers are
examining it._

_First Pleasure-seeker_ (_a sprightly young lady of the name of
LOTTIE_). "Put in a penny and get a summary of your character from the
colour of your 'air." I wonder what they'll 'ave _next_!

_Second Pl.-s._ (_her admirer, a porridge-faced young man with pink
eyelids and faming hair, addressed as 'ECTOR by his intimates_). Ah,
it's surprising how far they've got, it reelly is. And beginning with
butter-scotch, too!

_Aunt Maria_. Come on, do--you don't want to waste no more time over
that rubbidge!

_Fourth Pl.-s._ (_a lanky youth, with pale hair and a receding chin,
to his fiancee_). Hadn't we better be making a move if we're going to
'ear the band, CARRIE?

_Carrie_. I shall move on when I _like_, without your leave, FREDDY;
so make no mistake.

_Freddy_. Oh, _I_'m in no 'urry. I only thought your Aunt was
getting--but don't mind me. [CARRIE _does not mind him._

_Dolph_. (_the funny man of the party_). 'Old on a bit! I've got some
coppers. I'm going to sample this concern. I'll put in for all of
you--it's _my_ treat, this is. We'll begin with Aunt MARIA. What
colour do you call _your_ 'air now? I don't see any slot marked
"cawfy-colour."

_Aunt Maria_. Never _you_ mind what colour my 'air is--it's a pity you
can't find a better use for your pennies.

_Dolph_. (_inserting a penny in a slot marked "Light Brown"_). 'Ere
goes, t