MARIA set on _hers_! (_With a
glance at that Lady's very candid "front."_) _Can't_ you, Auntie,
eh? If you make a effort?

_Aunt Maria_ (_with dignity_). I'll thank you to 'ave the goodness
to drop your sauce, Mr. ADOLPHUS GAGGS; it's out of place and not
appreciated, I can assure you! [_She walks away._

_Dolph_. (_surprised_). Why, there's Aunt MARIA got the 'ump--for a
little thing like _that_! Let me finish with CARRIE. (_Reads._) "She
is of an intellectual turn of mind." (_"'Ear, 'ear!" from FREDDY._)
"Very fond of reading." Takes in _Sloper's 'Alf 'Oliday_ regular!
"Steadfast in her engagements." 'Ullo, CARRIE!

_Carrie_ (_firing up_). Well, have you anything to say against that?
You'd better take care, Mr. GAGGS!

_Dolph_. I was only thinking. Sure you haven't been squaring this
machine? Ah, it tells you some 'ome truths here--"Although inquisitive
and fond of prying into the secrets of others--" Now however did it
know _that_?

_Carrie_. It isn't there--you're making it up!

[_She snatches the card, reads it, and tears it up._

_Dolph_. Temper--temper! Never mind. Now we'll try FREDDY. What's his
shade of 'air? I should say about the colour of spoilt 'ay, if I was
asked.

_Carrie_ (_with temper_). You're _not_ asked, so you needn't give your
opinion!

_Dolph_. Well, keep _your_ 'air on, my dear girl, and we'll call
FREDDY's "Fair." (_Reading card._) "A gentleman with this colour of
hair will be assiduous in his occupation--"

_Carrie_ (_warmly_). What a shame! I'm _sure_ he isn't. _Are_ you,
FREDDY? [_FREDDY smiles vaguely._

_Dolph_. "Not given to rambling,"--Except in his 'ed,--"very moderate
in his amorous wishes, his mind much given to reflection, inclined to
be 'asty-tempered, and, when aroused,"--'Ere, somebody, rouse FREDDY,
quick!--"to use adjectives." Mustn't use 'em _'ere_, FREDDY! "But if
reasonably dealt with, is soon appeased." Pat his 'ed, CARRIE, will
yer? "Has plenty of bantering humour." (_Here FREDDY grins feebly._)
Don't he _look_ it too! "Should study his diet." That means his
grub, and he works 'ard enough at that! "He has a combination of good
commercial talents, which, if directed according to the reflection
of the sentiments, will make him tolerably well off in this world's
goods."

_Carrie_ (_puzzled_). What's it torking about _now_?

_Dolph_. Oh, it on'y means he's likely to do well in the cat's-meat
line. Now for your fortune, FREDDY. "It will be through marriage