ect
and, it must be added, a dwindling circle as a man of influence.
"There is no Club, however watched and tended, but one dread bore
is there." BEN might have developed into a prime bore, but as he was
plentifully supplied with money and had a good cook and a pleasant
wife, he would always have managed to gather round him plenty of
guests who would have forgiven him his elaborate platitudes, for the
sake of his admirable made-dishes. Suddenly, however, he resolved to
become a country gentleman. As there is no law to prevent a CHUMP
from turning into a squire, BEN had not to wait very long before he
was able to put his fatal resolve into execution. He purchased an
Elizabethan mansion, and descended with all his airs and belongings
upon the unhappy country-side which he had decided to make the scene
of his rural education. Before that I used to see him constantly.
After that I quite lost sight of him. Occasionally I read paragraphs
in weekly papers about immense festivities due to the enterprise of
the CHUMPS, and from time to time I received local papers containing
long accounts of hunt breakfasts, athletic sports, the roasting of
whole oxen, and other such stirring country incidents in which it
appeared that the CHUMPS took a prominent part. I will do BEN the
credit to say that he never omitted to mark with broad red pencil
those parts which referred specially to himself, or reported any
speech he may have happened to make.

Eventually that which I dreaded came about. Circumstances made it
impossible for me to refuse an invitation to Carchester Manor, and
on a certain evening in the first week of December I found myself a
guest under the roof of the CHUMPS. The entertainment provided was, I
am bound to say, magnificent. Every want that the most exacting guest
could feel was supplied almost before he had expressed it, and all
that gorgeous rooms, stately retainers and irreproachable cooking
could do to secure our comfort was done at Carchester Manor. But CHUMP
himself was on that first evening the grandest spectacle of all. He
overpowered me. Like some huge Spanish galleon making her way with
bellying sails and majestic progress amidst a fleet of cockle-shells,
so did CHUMP bear himself amidst his party. The neighbouring magnates
came to meet us. Lord and Lady AGINCOURT with their charming daughter
Lady MABEL POICTIERS, Sir GEORGE BUCKWHEAT and his wife, the Reverend
Canon and Mrs. CATSPAW, and a host of others were t