I fear, Mum, I very much fear,
That word doesn't strike so much terror
As once on the dull public ear;
Times change. Mum, they do, make no error!
Our clients complain of the cost,
And lots of Commercials is leaving us.
I think, Mum, afore more is lost,
We had best own the block is--well grieving us!

_HEAD LAUNDRESS._

There can't be no 'arm, dear, in _that_.
Let's write to the papers and 'int it.
I know with your pen you are pat,
And the _Times_ will be 'appy to print it.
If we are to git through _that_ lot,
We must 'ave some more 'elp--that's my notion!
Let's strike whilst the iron is 'ot,
The Public may trust our dewotion.
We'll call the chief Laundresses round;
Some way we no doubt shall discover.
At least, dear, 'twill 'ave a good sound,
If we meet, and--well _talk the thing over!_

[_Left doing so._

* * * * *

A MENU FROM HATFIELD.

POTAGES.

Consomme de Neveu aux Balles de Golf.
Au Jo poche.

ENTREES.

Supreme de Livres Bleus.
Irlandais Sauvages en Culottes.
Filou Mignon Randolph, Sauce Tartarin.
Degout de Goschen a la Financiere.

ROTS.

Canards Portuguais.
Entrecote d'Afrique a l'Allemande.

RELEVES.

Terrine de Fermes Vendues a la Parnell.
Pate de Loi a l'Ordre Publique.

LEGUMES.

Petits Soupcons Francais, Sauce Egyptienne.
Vepres Ceciliennes.

ENTREMETS.

Absorbe de Birmingham.
Succes de Whitehall aux Affaires Etrangeres.

DESSERT.

Amendes Parlementaires.
Raisons de Plus en Defaites.

* * * * *

[Illustration: "SHORT 'ANDED."

MRS. H-LSB-RY. "I TELL YOU WHAT IT IS, MRS. COLEY, MUM,--IF ALL THIS
'ERE DIRTY LINEN'S TO BE GOT THROUGH, WE MUST 'AVE _'ELP_, MUM!!"]

* * * * *

"THE MUSIC IN OUR STREET."

(_A WORD FROM A GIRL WHO LIVES IN IT._)

[Illustration]

Did you ever 'ear our music? What, never? _There_'s a shame;
I tell yer it's golopshus, we do 'ave such a game.
When the sun's a-shinin' brightly, when the fog's upon the town,
When the frost 'as bust the water-pipes, when rain comes pourin' down;
In the mornin' when the costers come a-shoutin' with their mokes,
In the evenin' when the gals walk out a-spoonin' with their blokes,
When Mother's slappin' BILLY, or when Father wants 'is tea,
When the boys are in the "Spotted Dog" a 'avin' of a spree,
No matter what the weather is, or wha