ds his troops where cannons pop,
But if the bitter truth be told--
I love a man who walks a shop!
For oh! a King of Men is he--
With princely strut and stiffened spine--
So his, and his alone, shall be,
This fondly foolish heart of mine!

On Remnant Days--from morn till night,
When blows fall fast, and words run high,
When frenzied females fiercely fight
For bargains that they long to buy--
From hot attack he does not flinch,
But stands his ground with visage pale,
And all the time looks every inch
The Hero of that Summer Sale!
For oh! a King of Men is he--
Whom shop-assistants call to "Sign!"
So his, and his alone, shall be
This fondly foolish heart of mine!

* * * * *

MONDAY, _Jan._ 18, 1892. "Bath and West of England's Society's Cheese
School at Frome." Of this School, the _Times_, judging by results,
speaks highly of "the practical character of the instruction given
at the School." This is a bad look-out for Eton and Harrow, not
to say for Winchester and Westminster also. All parents who wish
their children to be "quite the cheese" in Society generally, and
particularly for Bath and the West of England, where, of course,
Society is remarkably exclusive, cannot do better, it is evident,
than send them to the Bath and West of England Cheese School.

* * * * *

ON THE TRAILL.--It is suggested that in future M.P. should stand for
Minor Poet. Would this satisfy Mr. LEWIS MORRIS? Or would he insist on
being gazetted as a Major?

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

[Illustration: The following Page.]

One of the Baron's Deputy-Readers has been looking through Mr.
G.W. HENLEY's _Lyra Heroica; a Book of Verse for Boys_. DAVID NUTT,
London.) This is his appreciation:--Mr. HENLEY has tacked his name
to a collection which contains some noble poems, some (but not much)
trash, and a good many pieces, which, however poetical they may be,
are certainly not heroic, seeing that they do not express "the simpler
sentiments, and the more elemental emotions" (I use Mr. HENLEY's
prefatory words), and are scarcely the sort of verse that boys are
likely, or ought to care about. To be sure, Mr. HENLEY guards himself
on the score of his "personal equation"--I trust his boys understand
what he means. My own personal equation makes me doubt whether Mr.