n the middle of our street.

But there, I can't stand chatterin', pore mother's mortal bad,
And she's got to work the whole day long to keep things straight for dad.
Complain? Not she. She scrubs and rubs with all 'er might and main,
And the lot's no sooner finished but she's got to start again.
There's a patch for JOHNNY's jacket, a darn for BILLY's socks,
And an hour or so o' needlework a mendin' POLLY's frocks;
With floors to wash, and plates to clean, she'd soon be skin and bone
('Er cough's that aggravatin') if she did it all alone.
There'll be music while we're workin' to keep us on the go--
I like my tunes as fast as fast, pore mother likes 'em slow--
Ah! we don't get much to laugh at, nor yet too much to eat,
And the music stops us thinkin' when they play it in the street.

* * * * *

"MARIE, COME UP!"--When Miss MARIE LLOYD, who, unprofessionally, when
at home, is known as Mrs. PERCY COURTENAY, which her Christian name is
MATILDA, recently appeared at Bow-Street Police Court, having summoned
her husband for an assault, the Magistrate, Mr. LUSHINGTON, ought
to have called on the Complainant to sing "_Whacky, Whacky, Whack!_"
which would have come in most appropriately. Let us hope that the
pair will make it up, and, as the story-books say, "live happily ever
afterwards."

* * * * *

NIGHT LIGHTS.--Rumour has it that certain Chorus Ladies have objected
to wearing electric glow-lamps in their hair. Was it for fear of
becoming too light-headed?

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE POLITICAL WIREPULLER AT WORK.]

* * * * *

POLITE LITERATURE.

DEAR MR. PUNCH,--Having seen in the pages of one of your
contemporaries several deeply interesting letters telling of "the
Courtesy of the CAVENDISH," I think it will be pleasing to your
readers to learn that I have a fund of anecdote concerning the
politeness--the true politeness--of many other members of the Peerage.
Perhaps you will permit me to give you a few instances of what I may
call aristocratic amiability.

On one occasion the Duke of DITCHWATER and a Lady entered the same
omnibus simultaneously. There was but one seat, and noticing that
His Grace was standing, I called attention to the fact. "Certainly,"
replied His Grace, with a quiet smile, "but if I had sat down, the
Lady would not have enjoyed her present sa