he brass-bound perishers choke you off! Poo-bah! Na poo!"

Then he pulled himself together again and indented on Corps
Educational Branch once more, this time for "Lions; menagerie; one."
Corps came down on William like St. Paul's Cathedral falling down
Ludgate Hill. What the thunder did he mean by it? Trying to be funny
with them, was he? He must explain himself instantly--Grrrr!

William was very calm. Couldn't understand what all this unseemly,
uproar was about, he wrote. Everything was in order. Obeying their
esteemed instructions to the letter he had made inquiries among the
men as to what practical everyday trades they were wishful to learn,
and, finding one stout fellow who was very anxious to enter public
life as a lion-tamer, he had indented for a lion for the chap to
practise on. What could be more natural? Furthermore, while on the
subject, when they forwarded the lion, would they be so good as to
include a muzzle in the parcel, as he thought it would be as well to
have some check on the creature during the preliminary lessons.

Corps H.Q.'s reply to this was brief and witty. They instructed the
Adjutant to cast William under arrest.

William was furious. PATLANDER.

* * * * *

From a speech at a St. Andrew's Day dinner:--

"The Navy have but recently had a partial reward in the
unparralleled spectacle of the surrender of the bulk of the
German fleet which run lies swigly in Scotish waters, which
now lies snugly, as is meet and fittinf, in Scottish for ever.
Loud cheers."--_South American Paper_.

It is inferred that the printer was at the dinner.

* * * * *

PRINCESS CHARMING.

Once upon a time there was a Royal christening.

It was a very grand christening and the highest in the land were among
the assembled guests. There was more than one Royal Personage present,
and many lords and ladies and ambassadors and plenipotentiaries and
all manner of dignified and imposing people.

For it was a real Princess that was being christened, which is a thing
that does not occur every day in the year.

Quite a number of fairies were there too. Fairies are very fond of
christenings, and there are always a good many of them about on these
occasions.

They were very lavish in their gifts.

One gave the baby beauty; another gave her a sweet and gentle
disposition; another, charm of manner; a fourth, a quick and
intelligent