on from
publicity, and we accordingly give this information with all reserve,
simply for what it is worth. It is to the effect that, while retaining
the parts for three Minenwerfen in his new Battle Symphony, he has
been obliged to re-score one movement in which four "Big Berthas" were
prominently engaged, owing to the impossibility of securing any of
these instruments since the Armistice. He has, however, with admirable
resource substituted parts for four influenza microbes. There are no
French horns in the score, but by way of showing a conciliatory spirit
to the British army of occupation he has introduced in the _Finale_
an adaptation of a well-known patriotic song, which is marked on the
margin, "_Die W.A.A.C. am Rhein_."

* * * * *

"HIGH LIFE BELOW STAIRS."

"Tablemaid (upper), elderly Countess; Scotland, England;
good wage."--_Scotsman_.

* * * * *

"ANGLING.

"LOCH TAY.--KILLIN.--Mr. C.B. ----, London, had on Beans and
pease quiet and unchanged. Feeding offals 17th one salmon,
27 lb."--_Scotsman_.

But are these lures quite sportsmanlike?

* * * * *

From a "table of contents":--

"SPECIAL ARTICLES.

"The German 'Soul'--To Rise Like a Phoenix ... 10
Rats ........................................ 10"

_Glasgow Herald_.

Agreed; or, as they say in the House of Lords, "the Contents have it."

* * * * *

KISMET.

Those old comrades, Sergeant Kippy and Gunner Toady, stood on the
steps of the Convalescent Home and regarded the peaceful country-side
which, in South Devon, is a sedative even in February.

Gunner Toady had come over for the day, and Kippy, as an inhabitant of
the Home, had been exercising his prerogative of showing a guest over
the estate. During the great advance which proved to be the expiring
effort of the Hun, the Gunner had acquired a shortened leg, which
still caused him to revolt against sustained physical exertion.

He leant upon his stick and listened while Kippy the indefatigable
drew up a programme of a further tour to some outlying buildings.

"And you 'aven't seen the melin-'ouse," concluded that worthy,
enthusiastically waving his remaining arm in the direction of a far
shrubbery.

"Melin-'ouses in Febuary is lugoobrious," said the Gunner; "we'll
remain at the chatoo."

Kippy sat down on the top step.

"Cur