-priest of Kennedy's tobaccos.
He said--

"The poverty of Ireland is due to the fact that she has no coal.
Geologists say that tens of thousands of years ago a great ice-drift
carried away all the coal-depositing strata."

"Another injustice to Ireland," interrupted a sacrilegious Unionist.

"And doubtless due to the baleful machinations of the Base and Bloody
Balfour," said another.

It is easy to bear other people's troubles. He jests at scars who
never felt a wound. That the Irish nation has untold wrongs to bear is
evidenced by a Southern Irish paper, which excitedly narrates the
injuries heaped on the holy head of Hibernia by the scoffing Yankee,
the wrongful possessor of the American soil. A meeting of
distinguished Irish emigrants, who have from time to time favoured
the States with their notice, was recently convened in New York, not
on this exceptional occasion to metaphorically devour the succulent
Saxon, nor to send his enemies a dollar for bread, and ten dollars for
lead, nor yet to urge the Gotham nurses and scullerymaids to further
contributions in favour of patriot Parliamentarians, but to protest
with all the fervour of the conveners' souls, with all the eloquence
of their powerful intellects, with all the solemnity of a sacred deed,
against the irreverent naming of the animals in the Central Park
Zoological Gardens after Irish ladies, Irish gentlemen, Irish saints.
Misther Daniel O'Shea, of County Kerry, stated that the great
hippotamus had actually been named Miss Murphy! A hijeous baste from a
dissolute counthry inhabited wid black nagurs, to be named after an
Oirish gyurl! Mr. O'Shea uncorked the vials of his wrath, and poured
out his anger with a bubble, the meeting palpitating with hair-raising
horror. Some other animal was called Miss Bridget. And Bridget was the
name iv an Oirish saint! This must be shtopped. Mr. O'Shea declared he
would rather die than allow it to continue. No further particulars are
given, but it is understood that the viper had been christened "Tim
Healy," the rattlesnake "O'Brien," the laughing hyaena John Dillon, and
so on. The Chairman wanted to know why the Yankees did not call the
ugly brutes after Lord Salisbury and Colonel Saunderson? Nobody seemed
to know, so eight remonstrants were appointed a committee of inquiry.

Mr. O'Shea also denounced the American people as unlawfully holding a
country which properly belonged to the Irish, an Irish saint, St.
Brengan, hav