dicious friends, that she would be making a real
sacrifice were she to comply with their wishes; if, I say, under such
circumstances she acts disobediently and marries the man she loves,
more blame attaches to the parents than to herself, and the sooner
they forgive her the better.

It is very common for young men, when going into the company of young
woman, together with their best dress to put on their best behavior;
in fact, to assume a character which is not their natural one, but far
superior to it.

Some hold the opinion that

"ALL IS FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR."

To me it appears there cannot be greater folly and wickedness than for
young people who are thinking of marrying to attempt to deceive each
other. What is the good of it? A very short period of married life
will entirely dispel the illusion. I suppose people of the world may
think it fair to overreach one another in their dealings, saying
"everyone for himself." They have no intention of seeking to promote
the other's happiness; present gain is all they want. But a married
pair, to be happy, must

RESPECT AND ESTEEM, AS WELL AS LOVE,

each other; and this cannot be attained except by the constant
endeavor to _be_ as well as to _appear_ true and good.

That young men should behave well in the presence of women is only
natural and right; none but a fool would do otherwise. But you, long
before thinking of marrying, should take all fair means to learn what
is the general conduct and habits of your male acquaintance in their
family circle and with their daily connections. "Are they good-humored
and kind--able to bear the troubles they meet with? Are they
industrious, frugal, temperate, religious, chaste? Have they had the
prudence to insure against sickness and death?" Or, on the other hand,
are they addicted to drinking, smoking, betting, keeping late hours,
frequenting casinos, etc.? Your mother and other prudent friends will
assist you to find this out. Those who do not come up to the proper
standard, however agreeable they may be as acquaintance, certainly
cannot make good husbands. In company of such, it behooves you to be
well on your guard, and accept no attention from them. Should you
marry such a one, you would be sure to be miserable.

While, however, it is quite right that you should be careful about the
character of the young man who is paying court to you, it is of far
more importance to you that you