lieved it would be
removed--as if the Lord was to follow exactly the rules prescribed by
my weak, foolish, ignorant heart.

"Hitherto I had suffered little, believing all to be the answer
to my prayers; but I had not seriously thought of parting with him. I
was now truly alarmed, and determined to know, as far as appearances
went, the worst. Accordingly I stopped Dr. Bowie on the gallery: 'Tell
me, doctor,' said I, 'what have I to expect? It is cruel to flatter
me: if you give me some warning, and prepare me, I may perhaps be able
to support it; but if you suffer it to come upon me all at once, I
shall certainly sink under the shock.' He was silent for some time,
and then replied, 'I am really at a loss how to answer you.' I said,
'I will answer for you, there is no hope.' He said, 'God forbid--he is
in great danger; but still there is hope; and if you value his life,
be calm.' I was composed. Strange composure; I neither cried nor
complained; tears were denied a passage; I was fixed and dumb like a
statue. Can I, or any one else, describe my situation, or what I felt
at that moment? It was urged of what consequence it was that I should
be composed, that I might be able to do my duty to him, as no one
could supply my place to his satisfaction, and perhaps even now he
might be in want of me. I returned to my post, which was, except when
doing some necessary office about him, generally on my knees by his
bedside, partly that I might not lose the least whisper that came from
his lips, and partly because it is my favorite posture for prayer,
from which I could not cease, no, not for one minute.

"There were different medicines prescribed for that night, some
in case that others proved too strong for his stomach, others in case
of the increase of the hiccup. I found my head confused and my memory
incapable of retaining the variety of directions given. I therefore
accepted of the offer of a friend of his to sit up with us that night,
whom I begged to pay particular attention to the directions, and to
watch the proper times the medicines were to be given. This he did
with great care, and my dear doctor was very pliable in taking them as
they were offered. As for me I was so deeply engaged with the concerns
of his soul, I was unfit for any thing else.

"After Dr. Bowie let me know the danger he was in, I sent a
letter to Mr. Gilbert, begging he would not delay his visit till
morning, as perhaps by that time he