are spozd to be a continyooally carryin
about with em a load uv sadnis, and sensibilities, and sich; but I hev
never found it so. The fact is, it depends very much on how yoo say it,
under wat circumstances, and to whom. Wen, in my infancy, I wuz
inkarseratid in the common jail uv my native village, in Noo Gersey, a
victim to the prejudisis uv twelve men, who believed, on the unsupportid
testimony uv three men, and the mere accident uv the missin property
bein found in my possession (notwithstandin the fact that I solemnly
asshoored em that I didn't know nothin about it, and if I did it, it
must hev bin in a somnamboolic state), that I hed bin guilty uv bustin
open a grosery store, and takin twelve boxes uv cheroot cigars, I
asshoor yoo that, at the end uv the sentence,--hevin bin fed on bread
and water,--the sayin of farewell to the inhuman jailer wuzn't at all
onpleasant. Likewise, when, in the State uv Pennsylvany, in the
eggscitin campane uv 1856, I votid twict or four times for that eminent
and gilelis patriot, Jeems Bookannon, and wuz hauled up therefor, and
sentenced by a Ablishn Judge to a year in the Western Penitentiary,
after an elokent speech, in wich I reviewed the whole question at issue
between the parties, and ashoored him that my triflin irregularity in
the matter uv votin grew out uv an overweenin desire for the salvashen
uv my beloved country,--that, feelin that rooin wuz ahead uv us, onless
that leveler Fremont wuz defeated, I felt that my conshence wood not be
easy onless I did all in my power to ayert the evil,--when I emerged
from them gloomy walls, with one soot uv close, and a tolable knowledge
uv the shoemakin biznis, wuz it a sad thing for me to say "Farewell" to
the grim jailer, whose key turned one way wuz liberty, and tother way
captivity? Nary.

These two instances, I beleeve, is the only ones in wich I hev ever hed
to say farewell. In the course uv my long and checkered career (I do not
here allood to the style uv clothin in the Penitentiary), I am, when I
think uv it, surprised at the comparatively few times wich I ever left a
place at wich I hed bin stayin, in daylite! I ginerally went in the
nite,--

"Foldin my tent like the Arab,
And ez silently steelin away,"

hevin too much sensibility to be an onwillin witnis uv the agony uv
landladies, when they diskivered that I cood not pay. Knowin the softnis
uv my heart, I hev alluz hed a great regard for my feelins.

Still, I fee