remote
from either. The one is over-prone to complaisance, and a jester of the
lowest, couch, he so reverences the rich man's nod, so repeats his
speeches, and catches up his falling words; that you would take him for
a school-boy saying his lesson to a rigid master, or a player acting an
underpart; another often wrangles about a goat's hair, and armed engages
for any trifle: "That I, truly, should not have the first credit; and
that I should not boldly speak aloud, what is my real sentiment--[upon
such terms], another life would be of no value." But what is the subject
of this controversy? Why, whether [the gladiator] Castor or Dolichos be
the cleverer fellow; whether the Minucian, or the Appian, be the better
road to Brundusium.

Him whom pernicious lust, whom quick-dispatching dice strips, whom
vanity dresses out and perfumes beyond his abilities, whom insatiable
hunger and thirst after money, Whom a shame and aversion to poverty
possess, his rich friend (though furnished with a half-score more vices)
hates and abhors; or if he does not hate, governs him; and, like a pious
mother, would have him more wise and virtuous than himself; and says
what is nearly true: "My riches (think not to emulate me) admit of
extravagance; your income is but small: a scanty gown becomes a prudent
dependant: cease to vie with me." Whomsoever Eutrapelus had a mind to
punish, he presented with costly garments. For now [said he] happy in
his fine clothes, he will assume new schemes and hopes; he will sleep
till daylight; prefer a harlot to his honest-calling; run into debt; and
at last become a gladiator, or drive a gardener's hack for hire.

Do not you at any time pry into his secrets; and keep close what is
intrusted to you, though put to the torture, by wine or passion. Neither
commend your own inclinations, nor find fault with those of others; nor,
when he is disposed to hunt, do you make verses. For by such means the
amity of the twins Zethus and Amphion, broke off; till the lyre,
disliked by the austere brother, was silent. Amphion is thought to have
given way to his brother's humors; so do you yield to the gentle
dictates of your friend in power: as often as he leads forth his dogs
into the fields and his cattle laden with Aetolian nets, arise and lay
aside the peevishness of your unmannerly muse, that you may sup together
on the delicious fare purchased by your labor; an exercise habitual to
the manly Romans, of service to their f