t omit any
technical management for the purpose of disguise; the fruits which I
presented were generally soiled with dirt at the ends of the stalks,
in such a manner as to give them all the appearance of "_felo de se_,"
i.e. fell of itself. Thus, in the course of a few months, did I become
an adept of vice, from the mismanagement of those into whose hands I
was intrusted to be strengthened in religion and virtue.

Fortunately for me, as far as my education was concerned, I did not
long continue to hold this honourable and lucrative employment. One of
those unhappy beings called an usher peeped into my chest, and by way
of acquiring popularity with the mistress and scholars, forthwith
denounced me to the higher powers. The proofs of my peculation were
too glaring, and the amount too serious to be passed over; I was
tried, convicted, condemned, sentenced, flogged, and dismissed in the
course of half-an-hour; and such was the degree of turpitude attached
to me on this occasion, that I was rendered for ever incapable of
serving in that or any other employment connected with the garden or
farm; I was placed at the bottom of the list, and declared to be the
worst boy in the school.

This in many points of view was too true; but there was one boy who
bade fair to rival me on the score of delinquency; this was Tom
Crauford, who from that day became my most intimate friend. Tom was
a fine spirited fellow, up to everything; loved mischief, though not
vicious; and was ready to support me in everything through thick and
thin; and truly I found him sufficient employment. I threw off all
disguise, laughed at any suggestion of reform, which I considered
as not only useless, but certain of subjecting me to ridicule and
contempt among my associates. I therefore adopted the motto of some
great man "to be rather than seem to be." I led in every danger;
declared war against all drivellers and half-measures; stole
everything that was eatable from garden, orchard, or hen-house,
knowing full well that whether I did so or not, I should be equally
suspected. Thenceforward all fruit missed, all arrows shot into pigs,
all stones thrown into windows, and all mud spattered over clean linen
hung out to dry, were traced to Tom and myself; and with the usual
alacrity of an arbitrary police, the space between apprehension and
punishment was very short--we were constantly brought before the
master, and as regularly dismissed with "his blessing," till