was to be decided.

A quickened circulation of blood, a fear of immediate death, and a
still greater fear of shame, forced me to an involuntary and frequent
change of position; and it required some time, and the best powers of
intellect, to reason myself into that frame of mind in which I could
feel as safe and as unconcerned as if we had been in harbour. To this
state I at last did attain, and soon felt ashamed of the perturbation
under which I had laboured before the firing began. I prayed, it is
true: but my prayer was not that of faith, of trust, or of hope--I
prayed only for safety from imminent personal danger; and my orisons
consisted of one or two short, pious ejaculations, without a thought
of repentance for the past or amendment for the future.

But when we had once got fairly into action, I felt no more of
this, and beheld a poor creature cut in two by a shot with the same
indifference that at any other time I should have seen a butcher kill
an ox. Whether my heart was bad or not, I cannot say; but I certainly
felt my curiosity was gratified more than my feelings were shocked
when a raking shot killed seven and wounded three more. I was sorry
for the men, and, for the world, would not have injured them; but
I had a philosophic turn of mind; I liked to judge of causes and
effects; and I was secretly pleased at seeing the effect of a raking
shot.

Towards four P.M. the firing began to abate, the smoke cleared away,
and the calm sea became ruffled with an increasing breeze. The two
hostile fleets were quiet spectators of each other's disasters. We
retained possession of nineteen or twenty sail of the line. Some of
the enemy's ships were seen running away into Cadiz; while four others
passed to windward of our fleet, and made their escape. A boat going
from our ship to one near us, I jumped into her, and learned the death
of Lord Nelson, which I communicated to the captain, who, after paying
a tribute to the memory of that great man, looked at me with much
complacency. I was the only youngster that had been particularly
active, and he immediately despatched me with a message to a ship at
a short distance. The first lieutenant asked if he should not send an
officer of more experience. "No," said the captain, "he shall go; the
boy knows very well what he is about!" and away I went, not a little
proud of the confidence placed in me.

Further details of this eventful day are to be found recorded in our
national