of use or ornament was anticipated by
me with a degree of impatience which can only be compared to that of
a ship's company arrived off Dennose from a three years' station in
India, and who hope to be at anchor at Spithead before sunset. The
circumstance of my going to sea affected my father in no other way
than it interfered with his domestic comforts by the immoderate grief
of my poor mother. In any other point of view my choice of profession
was a source of no regret to him. I had an elder brother, who was
intended to have the family estates, and who was then at Oxford,
receiving an education suitable to his rank in life, and also learning
how to spend his money like a gentleman. Younger brothers are, in such
cases, just as well out of the way, particularly one of my turbulent
disposition: a man-of-war, therefore, like _another piece of timber_,
has its uses. My father paid all the bills with great philosophy, and
made me a liberal allowance for my age.

The hour of departure drew near; my chest had been sent off by the
Plymouth waggon, and a hackney-coach drew up to the door, to convey
me to the White Horse Cellar. The letting down of the rattling steps
completely overthrew the small remains of fortitude which my dearest
mother had reserved for our separation, and she threw her arms around
my neck in a frenzy of grief. I beheld her emotions with a countenance
as unmoved as the figure-head of a ship; while she covered my stoic
face with kisses, and washed it with her tears. I almost wondered what
it all meant, and wished the scene was over.

My father helped me out of this dilemma; taking me firmly by the arm,
he led me out of the room: my mother sank upon the sofa, and hid her
face in her pocket-handkerchief. I walked as slowly to the coach as
common decency would permit. My father looked at me, as if he would
inquire of my very inward soul whether I really did possess human
feelings? I felt the meaning of this, even in my then tender years;
and such was my sense of propriety, that I mustered up a tear for each
eye, which, I hope, answered the intended purpose. We say at sea,
"When you have no decency, sham a little;" and I verily believe I
should have beheld my poor mother in her coffin with less regret than
I could have foregone the gay and lovely scenes which I anticipated.

How amply has this want of feeling towards a tender parent been
recalled to my mind, and severely punished, in the events of my
vagrant