be?
The Lord-Lieutenant wouldn't come to Ballymoy. It's a backward place, so
it is."

"I'll get to that in a minute," said Dr. O'Grady. "But just suppose now
that we had him and did all the things I say, do you think he'd refuse
us a simple pier when we asked for it?"

"I don't know but he would. Hasn't the Government built two piers here
already? Is it likely they'd build a third?"

"Those two piers were built years and years ago," said Dr. O'Grady. "One
of them is more than ten years old this minute, and they were both built
by the last Government The present Lord-Lieutenant has probably never so
much as heard of them. We shouldn't go out of our way to remind him of
their existence. Nobody else in Ireland will remember anything about
them. We'll start talking about the new pier as if it were quite an
original idea that nobody had ever heard of before. We'd get it to a
certainty."

Doyle was swept away by the glorious possibilities before him.

"If so be the Lord-Lieutenant was to come, and the Lady-Lieutenant with
him, and more of the lords and ladies that does be attending on them up
in Dublin Castle----"

"Aides-de-camp, and people of that sort," said Dr. O'Grady. "They'd
simply swarm down on us."

"There'd have to be a luncheon for them," said Doyle.

"And it would be in your hotel. I forgot about the luncheon. There'll be
a pot of money to be made out of that."

"With drinks and all," said Doyle, with deep conviction. "There would.
The like of them people wouldn't be contented with porter."

"Champagne," said Dr. O'Grady, "is the recognised tipple for anybody
high up in the Government service. It wouldn't be respectful not to
offer it."

"But he won't come," said Doyle. "What would bring him?"

"The statue will bring him."

"The statue! Talk sense, doctor. What would the like of him want to
be looking at statues for? Won't he have as many as he wants in Dublin
Castle, and better ones than we'd be able to show him?"

"You're missing the point, Doyle. I'm not proposing to bring him down
here simply to look at a statue. I'm going to ask him to unveil it. Now
as far as I know the history of Ireland--and I'm as well up in it as
most men--that would be an absolutely unprecedented invitation for any
Lord-Lieutenant to receive. The novelty of the thing will attract him
at once. And what's more, the idea will appeal to his better nature.
I needn't tell you, Doyle, that the earnest desire of every
Lord-L