aid Moriarty.

"Do you mean to say you don't recognise it?"

"I do not, and what's more nobody could. For there's no tune in it, only
noise."

The doctor hesitated. Moriarty's opinion was in one respect quite
satisfactory. Neither Gallagher nor anyone else in Ballymoy was
likely to recognise the tune. It might, of course, fail to impress
the Lord-Lieutenant as being quite the proper thing. But that was a
difficulty which could be got over. The Lord-Lieutenant was not likely
to listen very attentively, and if he were told definitely that the band
was playing "God Save the King" he might possibly believe it.

"I'm thinking," said Dr. O'Grady, "of teaching that piece of music to
the town band."

"It'll fail you to do that," said Moriarty.

"I don't see why."

"You can try it," said Moriarty, "but you'll not be able. Anything those
fellows could play, I'd be able to whistle, and if it's what I couldn't
whistle they'll not be able to play it."

"You could whistle that all right if you tried."

"I could not. Nor I couldn't play it on an ivy leaf, nor yet on a comb,
and if I couldn't there's nobody else could. I'm not saying it isn't
good music, doctor, for it may be. But there's neither beginning nor end
of it, nor there isn't anything in the middle that a man would be able
to catch hold of."

Dr. O'Grady shut the piano with a bang. Constable Moriarty rose from his
seat.

"If there's nothing more you'll be wanting with me, doctor," he
said, "it might be as well if I was getting back to the barrack. The
sergeant's terrible particular these times. Mr. Gregg, the D.I., has
him annoyed with finding fault here and there and everywhere. Not that
I blame Mr. Gregg, for everybody knows he's a nice quiet kind of a man
who'd ask for nothing only to be let alone. But that's what he can't get
on account of Mr. Ford."

"Mr. Ford's a public nuisance," said Dr. O'Grady; "but I think we'll be
able to get rid of him."

"It would be no great harm if he was dead," said Moriarty.

"The Lord-Lieutenant," said Dr. O'Grady, "is almost sure to promote him.
That kind of man who never can let other people's business alone, is
just suited to Dublin Castle."

Moriarty got as far as the door of the room and then stopped.

"Will it be all right," he said, "about Mary Ellen? You'll remember,
doctor, that I was speaking to you about her, the way she'd be given the
chance of speaking to the Lord-Lieutenant."

"I'll settle about her at