epartments, are offered for sale by the Board of Works. The bulk of
them, it is understood, slope at 3.30 P.M.

***

The mysterious disappearance of sheep from Barnstaple has led to the
report that some Government Department has fixed a price for sheep.

***

"It is not practicable," says the London Electric Railway Company,
"for passengers to enter Tube cars at one door and leave by the other,
because the end cars have only one door." The idea of reserving these
cars for persons getting in or out, but not both, appears to have been
overlooked.

***

There is no truth in the report that the lodging, fuel and light
allowance of Officers is to be raised from two shillings and
sevenpence to two shillings and sevenpence halfpenny per day, the
cost of living having increased since the Peninsular War.

***

"What is reported to be the largest sapphira in the world," says
a contemporary, "disappeared when the Bolshevists took Kieff." We
suspect that the largest living Ananias had a hand in the affair.

***

It is not surprising to learn, following the Police Union meeting,
that the burglars have decided to "down jemmies" unless the eight-hour
night is conceded.

***

The rumour that there was a vacant house in the Midlands last week has
now been officially denied.

***

With reference to the Market Bosworth woman who, though perfectly
healthy, has remained in bed for three years, until removed last week
by the police, it now appears that she told the officers that she had
no idea it was so late.

***

"What can be done to make village life more amusing?" asks _The Daily
Mirror_. We are sorry to find our contemporary so ignorant of country
life. Have they not yet heard of Rural District Councils?

***

An Oxted butcher having found a wedding ring in one of the internal
organs of a cow, it is supposed that the animal must have been leading
a double life.

***

"In order to live long," says Dr. EARLE, "live simply." Another good
piece of advice would be: "Simply live."

***

A Streatham man who has been missing from his home since November,
1913, has just written from Kentucky. This disposes of the theory that
he might have been mislaid in a Tube rush.

***

"Distrust of lawyers," Mr. Justice ATKIN told the boys of Friars
School recently, "is largely caused by ignorance of the law." Trust in
them, on the other