d matches, but I couldn't
spare a pound note for them.

An inspiration!--I would go into the hairdressing establishment behind
the shop, have a shave--which I really didn't need--obtain change and
make my purchase. Besides, with so many barbers closed owing to the
strike, it was an opportunity.

This is what happened.

"Good morning, Sir. Your turn next but six."

A long, long interval.

"Shave, Sir? Lovely weather we're having. Razor all right, Sir?"

I said as little as possible; it is the only safe thing.

"Face massage, Sir?"

"No, thanks," I mumbled.

"Wonderful thing for the face, Sir; make a new man of you. Invigorates
the circulation, improves the complexion--"

"Oh, all right," I gasped.

And then for about twenty minutes snatches of conversation floated to
me through bundles of wet towels. My head was having a Turkish bath.
My face was covered with ointments and creams. Currents of electricity
played about my brow.

"Just trim your hair, Sir?"

I swear I said "No," but before I knew what was happening the scissors
were running merrily over my head.

"Singeing, Sir?"

"Er--no. I--"

"Finest thing in the world, Sir. It's a treat to see hair like this.
Just a bit 'endy,' but singeing will soon put that right."

Even had I been blind I should have discovered that I was undergoing
the process.

"What would you like for the shampoo, Sir? Eau de Quinine--Violet--"

"I don't think--"

My feeble protest was cut short.

"I always recommend Violet," he said, sprinkling my head profusely.

More rubbing, more towels, more electricity and finally a brush and
comb.

"I've a hair-lotion here, Sir--"

"No, thank you."

I meant it.

He helped me on with my coat, brushed off a deal of imaginary dust,
said something about skin softeners and bath requisites, but I'd had
enough for one morning, and I was yearning to get those cigarettes and
have a smoke.

I tendered my pound note.

He took it, and with his best smile said--

"Another sixpence, Sir, please."

* * * * *

[Illustration: "MOTHER, I _HAVE_ BEEN GOOD TO-DAY--SO PATIENT WITH
NURSE."]

* * * * *

BLIMP!

There are many things Dora kept dark
That she's now letting into the light,
And to-day an astounding aerial barque
Has suddenly sailed into sight;
But its past makes no sympathies burn,
And its future leaves interest limp,
Compared with the