want to torment yourself and me? We
ought to be considering ways and means of getting away. They won't leave
us in peace you know."

Nejdanov took her hand caressingly.

"Sit down beside me, Mariana, and let us talk things over like comrades
while there is still time. Give me your hand. It would be a good thing
for us to have an explanation, though they say that all explanations
only lead to further muddle. But you are kind and intelligent and are
sure to understand, even the things that I am unable to express. Come,
sit down."

Nejdanov's voice was soft, and a peculiarly affectionate tenderness
shone in his eyes as he looked entreatingly at Mariana.

She sat down beside him readily and took his hand.

"Thanks, dearest. I won't keep you long. I thought out all the things
I wanted to say to you last night. Don't think I was too much upset by
yesterday's occurrence. I was no doubt extremely ridiculous and rather
disgusting, but I know you didn't think anything bad of me--you know me.
I am not telling the truth exactly when I say that I wasn't upset--I was
horribly upset, not because I was brought home drunk, but because I was
convinced of my utter inefficiency. Not because I could not drink like
a real Russian--but in everything! everything! Mariana, I must tell you
that I no longer believe in the cause that united us and on the strength
of which we ran away together. To tell the truth, I had already lost
faith when your enthusiasm set me on fire again. I don't believe in it!
I can't believe in it!"

He put his disengaged hand over his eyes and ceased for awhile. Mariana
did not utter a single word and sat looking downwards. She felt that he
had told her nothing new.

"I always thought," Nejdanov continued, taking his hand away from his
eyes, but not looking at Mariana again, "that I believed in the
cause itself, but had no faith in myself, in my own strength, my own
capacities. I used to think that my abilities did not come up to my
convictions... But you can't separate these things. And what's the use
of deceiving oneself? No--I don't believe in the cause itself. And you,
Mariana, do you believe in it?"

Mariana sat up straight and raised her head.

"Yes, I do, Alexai. I believe in it with all the strength of my soul,
and will devote my whole life to it, to the last breath!"

Nejdanov turned towards her and looked at her enviously, with a tender
light in his eyes.

"I knew you would answer like that. So yo