ought, in unutterable
despair. "Oh, no, no! I am an honest man, gentlemen! I have still some
manhood left!"

But who was this familiar figure sitting on the governor's step and
looking at him with a dejected, reproachful glance? It was Markelov's
old servant. He had evidently come to town for his master, and would
not for a moment leave the door of his prison. But why did he look so
reproachfully at Paklin? He had not betrayed Markelov!

"And why did I go poking my nose into things that did not concern me?
Why could I not sit quietly at home? And now it will be said and written
that Paklin betrayed them--betrayed his friends to the enemy!" He
recalled the look Markelov had given him and his last words, "Whisper as
much as you like, Mr. Paklin, but you won't get anything out of it!" and
then these sad, aged, dejected eyes! he thought in desperation. And as
it says in the scriptures, he "wept bitterly" as he turned his steps
towards the oasis, to Fomishka and Fimishka and Snandulia.

XXXVI

WHEN Mariana came out of her room that morning she noticed Nejdanov
sitting on the couch fully dressed. His head was resting against one
arm, while the other lay weak and helpless on his knee. She went up to
him.

"Goodmorning, Alexai. Why, you haven't undressed? Haven't you slept? How
pale you are!"

His heavy eyelids rose slowly.

"No, I haven't."

"Aren't you well, or is it the after-effects of yesterday?"

Nejdanov shook his head.

"I couldn't sleep after Solomin went into your room."

"When?"

"Last night."

"Alexai! are you jealous? A new idea! What a time to be jealous in! Why,
he was only with me a quarter of an hour. We talked about his cousin,
the priest, and discussed arrangements for our marriage."

"I know that he was only with you a short time. I saw him come out. And
I'm not jealous, oh no! But still I couldn't fall asleep after that."

"But why?"

Nejdanov was silent.

"I kept thinking... thinking... thinking!"

"Of what?"

"Oh, of you... of him... and of myself."

"And what came of all your thinking?"

"Shall I tell you?"

"Yes, tell me."

"It seemed to me that I stood in your way--in his... and in my own."

"Mine? His? It's easy to see what you mean by that, though you declare
you're not jealous, but your own?"

"Mariana, there are two men in me and one doesn't let the other live. So
I thought it might be better if both ceased to live."

"Please don't, Alexai. Why do you