Sweet comber and brusher,
Consider you're mine!"

She looked at him squarely,
Considered him fairly,
Her glance was as keen as a knife,
Then she turned up her nose,
And, with icy repose,
She answered: "Well, not on your life!
You're not on the paper the only blot!
Do you think I come twelve in a parcel--what?
_Me_ pose as your dearie?
Oh, go and chase Peary!
You're making me weary.
Now git!"

(He got!)

[Illustration: _This shows how, with never a shadow of doubt,
When you go in for love you are apt to come out._]

The crowd that had waited
Outside was elated
So much by the prince's mischance,
That they greeted with jeers
And ironical cheers,
The end of his little romance.
They said: "Did it hurt when the ground you hit?"
They searched for some mark where the prince had lit,
And as he looked colder,
They only grew bolder,
And tapped on his shoulder
With: "Tag! You're It!"

The lengthy discussion
That sensitive Russian
Compiled on the U. S. A.
Was read by the maid,
As she carelessly played
With her beautiful hair one day.
"The talk you hear in that primitive land,"
He wrote, "nobody can understand."
"Somebody who guffed him,"
She said, "has stuffed him,
And easily bluffed him
To beat the band!"

_The Moral_: The people across the brine
Are exceedingly strong on Auld Lang Syne,
But they're lost in the push when they strike a gang
That is strong on American new line slang!

[Illustration]

How Thomas a Maid from a Dragon Released

Though Philip the Second
Of France was reckoned
No coward, his breath came short
When they told him a dragon
As big as a wagon
Was waiting below in the court!
A dragon so long, and so wide, and so fat,
That he couldn't get in at the door to chat:
The king couldn't leave him
Outside and grieve him,
He had to receive him
Upon the mat,

[Illustration]

The dragon bowed nicely,
And very concisely
He stated the reason he'd called:
He made the disclosure
With frigid composure.
King Philip was simply appalled!
He demanded for eating, a fortnight apart,
The monarch's ten daughters, all dear to his heart.
"And now you'll produce," he
Concluded, "the juicy
And succulent Luc