,
And spent nearly twice what he earned;
Her husband deserted,
And frivoled, and flirted,
Till Ferdinand's reason was turned.

[Illustration]

He repented too late,
And his terrible fate
Upon him so heavily sat,
That he swore at the day
When he sat down to play
At cards with John Jeremy Platt.
He was dead in a year,
And the fair Guinevere
In society sparkled again,
While the chaperons fluttered
Their fans, as they muttered:
"She's getting exceedingly plain!"

_The Moral_: Predicaments often are found
That beautiful duty is apt to get round:
But greedy extortioners better beware
For dutiful beauty is apt to get square!

[Illustration: _This shows how at poker one loses his pelf
When the other's a joker and knave in himself._]

How a Fair One no Hope to His Highness Accorded

She has slid down the channels
Of history's annals
Disguised as the child of a king,
But that is a glib
And iniquitous fib,
For she never was any such thing:
They called her the Fair One with Golden Locks,
And it's true she had lovers who swarmed in flocks,
But the rest is ironic;
Her business chronic
Was selling hair-tonic
By bottle and box!

From the dawn till the gloaming
She used to sit combing
Her hair in a languorous way.
And her suitors would stop
To look into the shop,
And stand there the rest of the day.
She filled them with mute, but with deep despair,
For she never glanced up, with a smile, to where
They stood about, crushing
Each other, and blushing:
She simply kept brushing
Her beautiful hair.

But a prince who was passing,
Engaged in amassing
Some facts on American life,
Was suddenly struck
By the fact that his luck
Might give him that girl for a wife!
His rashness he didn't attempt to excuse,
He entered the shop and he stated his views.
Remarking,
"My jewel,
I'm confident you will
Not wish to be cruel
Enough to refuse.

[Illustration]

"Most winsome of creatures,"
He told her, "your features
Have led me to candidly say
That no other beside
Would I have for a bride:
We'll be married a week from to-day!
I belong to a long and a titled line,
And the least of your wishes I won't decline;
Next month I will usher
My wife into Russia:--