His wife used to wait in the hall!
When this wandering mortal
Set foot on the portal,
She always appeared on the scene,
And, far from ideally,
Remarked: "Well, I _really_
Would like to know where you have been!"
Now what is the good of a wandering life,
If you have to tell all that you do to your wife?

[Illustration]

She'd indulge in a copious cry,
She'd remark she'd undoubtedly die,
Or, like many another,
Go back to her mother,
And what would the world think of _that_?
She only grew pleasant,
When offered a present
Of gloves or a gown or a hat:
And more than his talisman saved him in fare
Fortunatus expended in putting things square!

And _The Moral_ is easily said:
Like our hero, you're certain to find,
When such a cap goes on a head,
Retribution will follow behind!

_How a Princess Was Wooed from Habitual Sadness_

In days of old the King of Saxe
Had singular opinions,
For with a weighty battle-axe
He brutalized his minions,
And, when he'd nothing to employ
His mind, he chose a village,
And with an air of savage joy
Delivered it to pillage.

But what aroused within his breast
A rage well-nigh primeval
Was, most of all, his daughter, dressed
In fashion mediaeval:
The gowns that pleased this maiden's eye
Were simple as Utopia,
And for a hat she had a high
Inverted cornucopia.

In all her life she'd never smiled,
Her sadness was abysmal:
The boisterous monarch found his child
Unutterably dismal.
He therefore said the prince who made
Her laughter from its shell come,
Besides in ducats being paid,
Might wed the girl, and welcome!

I ought to say, ere I forget,
She was uncommon comely--
(Who ever read a Grimm tale yet,
In which the girl was homely?)
And so the King's announcement drew
Nine princes in a column.
But all in vain. The princess grew,
If anything, more solemn.

[Illustration]

One read her "Innocents Abroad,"
The next wore clothes eccentric,
The third one swallowed half his sword,
As in the circus-tent trick.
Thus eight of them into her cool
Reserve but deeper shoved her:
There was but one authentic fool--
The prince who really loved her!

[Illustration]

He'd alternate between the height
Of hope and deep abasement,
He caught distressing c