t. When he acts, do not let him know
that it is from obedience; and when another acts for him, let him not
feel that he is exercising authority. Let him feel his liberty as much
in your actions as in his own. Add to the power he lacks exactly
enough to make him free and not imperious, so that, accepting your aid
with a kind of humiliation, he may aspire to the moment when he can
dispense with it, and have the honor of serving himself. For
strengthening the body and promoting its growth, nature has means which
ought never to be thwarted. A child ought not to be constrained to
stay anywhere when he wishes to go away, or to go away when he wishes
to stay. When their will is not spoiled by our own fault, children do
not wish for anything without good reason. They ought to leap, to run,
to shout, whenever they will. All their movements are necessities of
nature, which is endeavoring to strengthen itself. But we must take
heed of those wishes they cannot themselves accomplish, but must fulfil
by the hand of another. Therefore care should be taken to distinguish
the real wants, the wants of nature, from those which arise from fancy
or from the redundant life just mentioned.

I have already suggested what should be done when a child cries for
anything. I will only add that, as soon as he can ask in words for
what he wants, and, to obtain it sooner, or to overcome a refusal,
reinforces his request by crying, it should never be granted him. If
necessity has made him speak, you ought to know it, and at once to
grant what he demands. But yielding to his tears is encouraging him to
shed them: it teaches him to doubt your good will, and to believe that
importunity has more influence over you than your own kindness of heart
has.

If he does not believe you good, he will soon be bad; if he believes
you weak, he will soon be stubborn. It is of great importance that you
at once consent to what you do not intend to refuse him. Do not refuse
often, but never revoke a refusal.

Above all things, beware of teaching the child empty formulas of
politeness which shall serve him instead of magic words to subject to
his own wishes all who surround him, and to obtain instantly what he
likes. In the artificial education of the rich they are infallibly
made politely imperious, by having prescribed to them what terms to use
so that no one shall dare resist them. Such children have neither the
tones nor the speech of suppliants; th