IFE!"]

* * * * *

IN OFFICE WITH THE LABOUR VOTE.

(_HOW TO DEAL WITH AN AWKWARD MATTER, ACCORDING TO PRECEDENT._)

SCENE--_A Smoking-Room and Lounge. Eminent Statesman
discovered filling a pipe. Private Secretary in
attendance._

_Em. S._ Now I think all's ready to begin. Mind, my lad, and have the
tea and decanters in readiness when I ring for them. Enough chairs?

_Pri. Sec._ Only half-a-dozen expected, Sir; so I thought if I got six
that would be enough.

_Em. S._ Quite so. And now, my dear fellow, show in the Deputation.

[_Private Secretary opens door, when enter several Workmen in
their Sunday best, headed by Fussy M.P._

_Fussy M.P._ (_with effusion_). My dear Sir, this is a great pleasure.
I hope I see you well. (_Shakes the hand of Eminent Statesman with
profuse cordiality._) And now, if you will allow me, I will introduce
these Delegates. It would have pleased them better if they could have
had an Autumn Session, but they are quite prepared to be satisfied
with an interview, as it is in the Recess. (_Speaking in the soft
tones of the House at Westminster._) Sir! My Right Hon. Friend! It
is my privilege as well as my duty--a most pleasant one--to introduce
what I may aptly declare to be the most representative body of men it
has ever been my good fortune to meet. I, my dear Sir--

_Em. S._ (_interrupting_). Thank you very much, but I fancy we can get
on better by talking it over quietly. It's very hot, so if you don't
mind, I will take off my coat and sit in my shirt-sleeves.

[Illustration]

[_Removes his coat._

_Fussy. M.P._ (_taken aback_). My dear Sir!

_Members of the Deputation_. Thankee, Sir! We'll follow suit.

[_They remove their coats._

_Em. S._ Now you would like to smoke? Well, my Private Secretary will
hand round cigars, cigarettes, and tobacco. Don't be shy, Consider my
house Liberty Hall. Well, tell me--what's it all about?

_First Mem. of Dep._ (_pointing to Fussy M.P._) Why he said as how he
would do all the speaking.

_Em. S._ Very likely, and do it (_bowing to him_) very well. But I
would far rather that you should speak for yourselves. Come let us
meet as old friends. Now--what do you want?

_Second Mem. of Dep._ Why, Sir, if you put it in that pleasant way, I
may say, payment for hours of labour put in by some one else.

_Em. S._ Yes, very good. Capital notion. But how are you to manage it?

_Third Mem