ET KNIGHT"--Sir BLUNDELL MAPLE. Likewise that Sir B.M. is
"a Knight of the Round Table." [N.B. Great rush to let off these.
Contribution-Box joke-full of 'em. Impossible, therefore, to decide
"who spoke first." Reward of Merit still in hand.]

* * * * *

SUGGESTION.--The Music-and-Hartland Committee will permit the
performance of brief "Sketches" in the Music Halls. Wouldn't
"Harmonies" by our own WHISTLER be more appropriate?

* * * * *

[Illustration: AN EARNEST POLITICIAN.

"I'M VERY GLAD SIR PERCY PLANTAGENET WAS RETURNED, MISS!"

"WHY,--ARE YOU A PRIMROSE DAME?"

"NO, MISS,--BUT MY 'USBAND IS!"]

* * * * *

TIP TO TAX-COLLECTORS.

(_AFTER HERRICK'S "COUNSEL TO GIRLS."_)

A SONG OF THE EXCHEQUER.

Air--"_Gather ye rose-buds while ye may._"

Gather ye Taxes while ye may,
The time is fleetly flying;
And tenants who'd stump up to-day,
To-morrow may be shying.

That annual "Lump," the Income Tax,
Still higher aye seems getting;
The sooner that for it you "ax,"
The nearer you'll be netting.

That payer's best who payeth first
The Exchequer's pert purse-stormer:
As the year wags still worse and worst
Times, still succeed the former.

Then be not lax, but keep your time,
And dun, and press, and harry;
Tax-payers shirk, nor deem it crime,
If long Collectors tarry.

* * * * *

"WHERE SHALL WE GO?" is of course an important subject in the
holiday-time, and one to which _Sala's Journal_ devotes a column or
two weekly; but a still more important one is "_How shall we go it?_"
and having totted up the items there comes the final question, "_Where
shall we stay?_" And the wise, but seldom-given answer is--"_At
Home_." In any case, the traveller's motto should always be, "Wherever
you go, make yourself quite at Home"--and stay there, may be added by
the London Club Cynic, who wants everything all to himself.

* * * * *

THE LOST JOKE.

(_A SONG OF A SAD BUT COMMON EXPERIENCE._)

Air:--"_The Lost Chord._"

[Illustration]

Seated one day in my study
I was listless and ill at ease,
And my fingers twiddled idly
With the novel upon my knees.
I know not where I was straying
On the poppy-clustered shore,
But I suddenly struck on a Sparkler
Which fairly made me roar.

I