h more than one visit,
old pal,
And I've got a hengagement next week to go there with the same
pooty gal.
I'm going to read up the subjeck, I'll cram for it all I can carry,
For I'm bound to be fair, in the know if young POLLY should question

Yours, 'ARRY.

* * * * *

INNS AND OUTS.

NO. I.--"MISTER."

In a "Grand Hotel" again; abroad; never mind which or where; have
experienced many Inns and many outings, but find all Grand Hotels much
the same. "Lawn-tennis, English Church in the Spa_t_ious Grounds, good
station for friends of the _Fisch-Sport_."--But the quintessence of
Grand-Hotelism is "Mr." in his Bureau.

The main thing about "Mr." is his frock-coat ("made in Germany"). It
is always buttoned; he is never without it; I believe he sleeps in
it. Divest him of this magician's robe (so to speak) and he would be
powerless.

The Hotel omnibus clatters in; "Mr." confronts us, smiling and serene,
with his two Secretaries of Legation. He discriminates the Inn-comers
at a glance.--"Numero 10, 11, 12, _entresol_;" for Noah-like
Paterfamilias with Caravan; "Numero 656, for se Leddy's med;" "Numero
80, for me, the _soi-disant Habitue_;" it's the room I'm _supposed_ to
have always had, so I pretend to like it. One Unremunerative-looking
Pedestrian, in knickerbockers, is assured that, if he waits half a
day or so, he may get an attic--"Back of se house; fine view of se
sluice-gate and cemetery."--U.-L.P. expostulates; he has telegraphed
for a good room; it's _too_ bad.--"Ver' sawy, but is quite complete
now, se Hotel." U.-L.P., furious; "Hang it," &c. "Mr." deprecates this
ingratitude--"Ver' sawy, Sor; but if you don't like," (with decision),
"se whole wide wurrld is open to you!" Pedestrian retires, threatening
to write to the _Times_. Preposterous! as if the Editor would print
anything against "Mr."! "Mr.'s" attitude majestic and martyred;
CASABIANCA in a frock-coat! Bless you! he knows us all, better than
we know ourselves. He sees the Cook's ticket through the U.-L.P.'s
Norfolk-jacket.

[Illustration: "He sees the Cook's ticket through the U.-L.P.'s
Norfolk-jacket."]

When "Mr." is not writing, he is changing money. The sheepish Briton
stands dumb before this financier, and is shorn--of the exchange,
with an oafish fascination at "Mr.'s" dexterous manipulation of the
_rouleaux_ of gold and notes. Nobody dares haggle with "Mr." When he
is not changing mo