their rich crimson silk
dresses, and several werry Common Counsellers and Town Clarks and
Remembrensers, et setterer, in horder as the longing world may see
what sorts of Gents they was, and how they all looked when in their
werry best close, and with their lovely solid gold deckorations on (as
the HEMPERER and the Prince of WALES begged and prayed as they might
have one a-peace) who arranged and carried out the grandest show
of modern times, wiz, when the GERMAN HEMPEROR and his wife cum to
Guildhall. Oh, wasn't they a long wile before the Gent coud get 'em
all into good places, and didn't they all look sollem, when he said,
"Quite steddy, please!"

[Illustration]

But not noboddy as reddily gives a ginny for a mere coppy of what I
saw dun, will see all I saw without paying no ginny, and that was,
to see the hole grand picter built up, as it were, beginning with the
Lord MARE in his white hermine robe of poority and his black Cocked
Hat of Power all most bewtifoolly and kindly arranged for him by the
hartistic Sheriff.

And then what a lesson on trew humility, to see the Lord MARE, in all
his glory, retire to the Committee's dressing-room, and there strip
hisself to his werry shirt-sleeves and clothe hisself in the mere
hordnary close of common humanety!

Ah! I henvys no man his persession of the bewtifool Photygraff, for
I, almost alone, can say, tho but a pore hed Waiter, I saw the grand
pictur grow like' a bewtifool dream, and then saw it fade away like a
strawbery hice on a Summer's Day!

ROBERT.

* * * * *

LA POLITESSE DE PORTSMOUTH.--The French Fleet may depend upon a
courteous welcome at Portsmouth by the Mayor, who is the "Pink" of
Politeness.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE HEIGHT OF IMPROPRIETY.

_Miss Grundison, Junior_. "THERE GOES LUCY HOLROYD, ALL ALONE IN A
BOAT WITH YOUNG SNIPSON AS USUAL! SO IMPRUDENT OF THEM!"

_Her Elder Sister_. "YES; HOW SHOCKING IF THEY WERE UPSET AND
DROWNED--WITHOUT A CHAPERON, YOU KNOW!"]

* * * * *

"A LONG DISTANCE SWIM."

["Our Session began before last year was closed. It has been
a Session full of anxiety, full of fatigue. I am thankful to
agree with your Lordship in thinking that the people of this
country will recognise that it has been a Session of hard and
valuable work."--_Lord Salisbury at the Mansion House_.]

Don't talk about WEE