_), "Ow! for the vanished Spring-time! Ow! for the
dyes gorn boy! Ow! for the"--(_changing the melody_)--"'omeless,
I wander in lonely distress. No one ter pity me--none ter caress!"
(_Here he sheds tears, overcome by his own pathos, but presently
cheers up._) "I dornce all noight! An' I rowl 'ome toight! I'm a
rare-un at a rollick, or I'm ready fur a foight." Any man 'ere
wanter foight me? Don't say no, ole Frecklefoot! (_To the O.G., who
perspires freely_.) Oh, I _am_ enj'yin' myself! [_He keeps up this
agreeable rattle, without intermission, for the remainder of the
journey, which--as the train stops everywhere, and takes quite
three-quarters of an hour in getting from Queen's Road, Battersea, to
Victoria--affords a signal proof of his social resources, though it
somewhat modifies the O.G.'s enthusiasm for the artless gaiety of a
Bank Holiday._

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE FESTIVE FORCEPS.

(_A Dream of the Dentist's Chair._)]

* * * * *

"ON THE SQUARE."

"A CHEQUE-MATE's a husband who's found a good catch,"
So lisp rosy lips that romance little reck.
Yes, and many a close "matrimonial" match
Is won by "perpetual cheque."

* * * * *

AN 'UMBLE CORRECTION.

In "The New Yachting," a discursive paper, pleasantly written by
Sir MORELL MACKENZIE, M.D., in _The Fortnightly_ for this month, the
author quotes a verse from the old song of "Jim Collins," or, as he
writes it, "John Collins" (by way of proving that the drink known by
that name was originated by this individual) but quotes it, to the
best of our knowledge and belief, inaccurately. It was set to the air
of "Jenny Jones," and thus it ran:--

"My name is JIM COLLINS,
'Ead-vaiter at Limmers',
The corner of Conduck Street,
'Anover Square.

"And my hokkipashun
Is sarvin' out liquors
To such sportin' covies
As chance to come _there_."

This, we venture to assert, savours more of the old bar and the
ancient sanded floors, more of the by-gone Cider Cellars and extinct
Vauxhall Gardens, more of the early mornings and late nights, more of
the rough-and-ready "P.R." times, than the veneered version for the
drawing-room given us by Sir M.M., M.D. We may be wrong, but--we don't
think we are.

* * * * *

AFTER LUNCH.

_A FANCY SKETCH, COPIED FROM COBB._

["There are numerous instances o