not learned reserve with friends yet: I supply the lack by a
retreating disposition,--a disinclination to make acquaintances. I love
very quickly and strongly; but just as quickly dislike what I loved--if
deceived, and the dislike does not die. My general experience has been
that the loveable souls are but rarely lodged in the forms which most
attract us: there _are_ such exceptions on the woman's side as my dear
little Sis,--and there are exceptions on the male side of a particular
order, and rare. But the rule remains. I wonder if all these jokes are
not played on us by the Gods, who think,--'No!--you want the infinite!
That can be reached later only,--after innumerable births. First learn,
for a million years or so, just to love only _souls_. You _must_! for
you will be punished if you try to obtain all perfections in one.' I
think the Gods talk to us about that way; and when we leave the Spring
season of life behind, we find the Gods were right after all.

"--Still, the great puzzle is in all these things there are no general
rules solid enough to trust in. I fancy the best teaching for a heart
would be,--'Always caution,--but--believe the tendency of the world is
to good.' And _largeness_ seems to be necessary,--never to suffer
oneself to see only one charm; but to train oneself to study
combinations and understand them. Any modern human nature is too complex
to be otherwise judged.

"Music,--yes! If I were near you I would be always teasing you to
play:--and would bring you all kinds of queer exotic melodies to make
variations on: strange melodies from Spanish America and the Creole
Islands, and Japan, and China, and all sorts of strange places. We
should try to do very curious things in the way of ballads and songs,
and you would teach me all sorts of musical things I don't know. By the
way, you will be shocked to learn, perhaps, that I have never been able
to appreciate the superiority of the new German music: The Italian still
seems to me the divine: but that may be because I have never had time to
train myself to appreciate.

"--You do not know how much I sympathise with all your anxieties and
troubles, and how much I wish for your strength and happiness. Would I
not like to be travelling with you to countries where you would find all
the rest and light and warmth you could enjoy! Perhaps, some day that
may be. Pray to the Gods for my good fortune; and we shall share the
pleasure together if They listen. If