suddenly to swear
that they will obey enactments incapable of being obeyed."

Oaths such as these are enough to make any man turn Quaker--at least by
quaking as he swallows them. Any amount of swearing that ever disgraced
a cabstand is preferable to such shocking affidavits; and there is
something much more horrible in the oaths of college Fellows than there
is in the imprecations of such fellows as coster-mongers. Our army once
"swore terribly in Flanders," but never at such a rate as officers of
the Church Militant appear to be in the habit of swearing at the
Universities: and although there is said to be an awful amount of
perjury committed in the County Courts, it is probable that the
individuals forsworn at those halls of justice are far exceeded in
number by the Reverend Divines who kiss the book to untruth at the
temples of learning. It is a strange kind of consistency that objects to
rapping out an oath, and yet obstinately retains such oaths at Oxford
and Cambridge.

* * * * *

THE PLAIN TRUTH OF IT.--There is NO "medium" in Spirit Rapping; for, in
our opinion, it is all humbug from beginning to end.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE CAMP AT CHOBHAM.--A COLD IN THE HEAD.

_Jones (a Batman.)_ "DID YOU SOUND, SIR?"

_Officer._ "YES, JOLES. BRING ME MY BUCKET OF GRUEL AS SOOL AS I'VE
TALLOWED MY _LOZE_." (_Catarrhic for Nose._)]

* * * * *

THE GREAT INDIAN FACT.

[Illustration: A]

A Great fact in India--nay, why should we not throw affected modesty on
one side, and say at once, _the_ great fact in that great country--is
the position occupied in the most flourishing Indian communities by our
humble--pooh! why blink the truth--our noble selves!

India is a country of contrasts--of wealth and want, of prosperity
and decay, of independence and servility, of self-government and
despotism.

The want, the decay, the servility, and the despotism are to be found
among all the native races--Bengalee and Madrassee, Maratta and Telinga,
Canarese and Tamul, Bheel and Ghoorka, Khoond and Rohilla, Sikh and
Aheer--it will be seen that _we_ too have been getting up our
India;--under all sorts of authorities--Potails and Zemeendars, Kardars
and Jagheerdars, Ameers and Mokaddams, and Deshmucks; with all kinds of
tenures--Zemeendaree and Ryotwaree and Jagheerdaree. But the wealth, the
prosperity, the independence, and the