h a deck?"--

"Why, my love, my dearest--as for a boat, I"--and I felt alarmed.

"COLUMBUS found America almost in a punt," said FRED; "then surely we
may seek our arms in"--

"But stop," I cried; for he was really going. "After all, love," and I
resolutely seated myself on his knee, and held him round the
neck--"after all, you have not told me what _are_ your arms? I mean your
arms from JOAN OF ARC."

"Why, you know, my love, that JOAN OF ARC was a shepherdess?"

"I should hope I knew as much as that," said I.

"Very good. Well, in order to perpetuate the beautiful humility of her
first calling, CHARLES THE SEVENTH magnificently permitted her and all
her descendants, to carry in her shield--a lamb's fry!"

"Now, FREDERICK!"

"Such are my bearings, inherited in a direct line--I say in a direct
line--from the MAID OF ORLEANS!"--

"From the MAID OF--" and then I saw what a goose he had made of me; and
didn't I box his ears, but not to hurt him; and didn't we afterwards
agree that the hall-chairs should remain as they were, and that life
might be beautiful and bright enough without a touch of herald's paint.

How we _did_ laugh at the family pippin!

* * * * *

GARDENS WITHOUT A WATERPOT.

[Illustration: A]

A well-founded objection has been raised against the Zoological Gardens;
one objection: and that the only one that we can think of. It is
complained, with truth, that no proper liquor is provided for the
children to drink there. Ginger-beer, soda-water, and lemonade are not
fit for children at all times, if they are fit at any, and cherry-brandy
is good for nobody; not even for the young ladies who alone drink it;
for it neither quenches thirst, nor causes hilarity: which are the sole
valid reasons for drinking anything whatever, except physic. It appears
that the only juvenile taps in the Gardens are those which supply water
to the gardeners. If these afforded the pure element, it would be all
very well; but their contents are much more suitable for the nourishment
of plants than for the refreshment of little boys and girls. Numerous
and interesting as are the varieties of the animal creation contained in
these Gardens, the collection does not include that useful individual of
the mammalia, the common cow, to produce a drop of milk for the little
ones.

Even if children could drink soda-water and cherry-brandy, it would be,
for many a father of a family which he takes