of me, who
encourages me to do the best that is in me, who will tell me of my
faults, who recognizes my virtues, who trusts in my honor.

You are willing to accept that definition, and you think it possible
to be all that to each other without being lovers. I believe it, too,
but I would like to make some further statements before we have the
discussion of this question.

I believe that a girl's first and best friends are her parents; her
wisest _confidante_, her mother. To these she may speak unreservedly
of herself. With these she may freely talk over family matters. In a
friendship with some outside the family it would be unwise to discuss
family matters. It might be an unkindness to other members of the
family, and in case of a break in the friendship the family secrets
might be betrayed, and to the detriment of the trusting friend. I once
read of such an affair, where one girl had confided to another certain
matters that reflected on the honor of her family, and when the
friendship was broken the secret was betrayed, to the public shame of
the girl who had been unwise in her confidences.

True honor would forbid the betrayal of a confidence even after the
rupture of a friendship; but all persons have not the highest ideal of
honor. If the girl is not discreet in her revelation of herself, and
her mother is her only _confidante_, it will not be so serious a
matter, for the mother will never be tempted to reveal to others
anything that would bring scorn or criticism upon her child. Nowhere,
in her girlish ignorance, can the girl find as sincere sympathy as in
the loving mother.

"But all mothers are not sympathetic," you say. "They are often
nagging, and use the confidences of the daughter to make her
uncomfortable." Well, if this be so, you, at least, can learn the
lesson, and by your habits of thought fit yourself to be the wise,
loving, companionable, sympathetic _confidante_ of your daughter, for
you will be anxious that she should have no friend so close as
yourself.

However, I believe that mothers should recognize the individuality of
their daughters, and win, rather than command, confidence. It is
difficult for us, as mothers, to realize that our daughter is just as
much a separate individual as is our neighbor's daughter, and that we
have no right to thrust ourselves upon her, no right to demand that
she shall love us. We have the right to sympathize, to counsel, to
direct her conduct so long as she