r Meals and kept them trembling most of the time, but
they determined to do things Right, even if both died of Nervous
Prostration.

When they began making real Headway and were recognized in the Park by
some of the Headliners, Claudine would chide Elam for his early Doubts
and Fears.

"This has got the Middle West skinned forty ways from the Jack," she
would exclaim, gayly, as they motored up the Avenue. "Me for the White
Lights! It's a good thing you had a Pacemaker or you would now be
wearing detachable Cuffs and putting Sugar on your Lettuce."

Two years had elapsed since the escape from being Buried Alive.
They were, to all outward appearances, City-broke.

One day Claudine allowed that she was tired of Bridge and the gay
Routine. She announced that she was slipping away to Virginia Hot
Springs to cool off and rest.

Elam said that while she was lying up, he would inspect certain Mining
Properties in Canada.

He drove Honey to the train, then he tore back to the palatial Home,
chucked a few Props into a Suit Case and headed for the Grand Central.
He never stopped going until he ducked in the Back Way, through the
Grape Arbor, past the Woodshed, into the Kitchen of the old Homestead
in which he first saw the Light of Day.

Gusta nearly keeled when she lamped the long-lost Boss.

"Get busy," he said. "One fried Steak, the size of a Lap-Robe,
smothered with Onions, two dozen Biscuits without any Armor Plate, one
bushel of home-made Pork and Beans, much Butter, and a Gallon of Coffee
in a Tureen."

"You will have to wait a while," said the faithful Gusta. "There is a
double order of Ham and Turnips ahead of you. While you are waiting
you might go up and call on the Missus. She has put on her old Blue
Wrapper and the Yarn Slippers and is now lying on a Feather Tick in the
Spare Room."

MORAL: The only City People are those born so.

THE NEW FABLE OF THE MARATHON IN THE MUD AND THE LAUREL WREATH

A Stub-Nosed Primary Pupil, richly endowed with old-gold Freckles,
lived in a one-cylinder Town, far from the corroding influences of the
Stock Exchange.

He arrived during the age of Board Sidewalks, Congress Gaiters, and Pie
for Breakfast.

The Paper Collar, unmindful of the approaching Celluloid, was still
affected by the more tony Dressers. Prison-made Bow Ties, with the
handy elastic Fastener, were then considered right Natty.

Limousines, Eugenics, Appendicitis, and the regulation of Combines