A.P.H.

* * * * *

"Sir,--I can recall no better description of a gentleman than this--

'A gentleman is one who never gives offence unintentionally.'

Unfortunately I do not know to whom tribute should be paid for this
very neat and apt definition."--_Letter in Daily Paper._

We rather think the printer had a hand in it.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE DIFFICULTY OF OBTAINING THE CORRECT ATMOSPHERE AT
COUNTRY WEDDINGS, OWING TO THE CHANGED CONDITIONS OF VILLAGE LIFE, HAS LED
MESSRS. HARRIDGES TO COME TO AN ARRANGEMENT WITH THE CHORUS OF THE
FRIVOLITY THEATRE TO ATTEND AND FURNISH THE REQUISITE NOTE OF PICTURESQUE
SIMPLICITY. TERMS ON APPLICATION.]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Guide_ (_after ascent of a hundred-and-twenty steps_).
"THESE, SIR, ARE THE FAMOUS GARGOYLES I MENTIONED."

_Perspiring American._ "GEE! I THOUGHT YOU SAID 'GARGLES.'"]

* * * * *

THE TRANSMIGRATION OF BOWLES.

Little Mr. Bowles was very happy as long as he was only second mechanic at
the garage of Messrs. Smith Brothers, of High Street, Puddlesby. It was
when he became a member of the Puddlesby Psychical Society that his
troubles began. Up till then he had been as sober and hard-working a little
man as ever stood four foot ten in his shoes and weighed in at seven stone
four. But above all he was an expert in rubber tyres; he knew them, I had
almost said, by instinct.

The Puddlesby Psychical Society believes in the Transmigration of Souls. As
I am not a member myself I'm afraid that that is all I can tell you about
it. It is a little difficult at first sight, perhaps, to see the connection
between Transmigration and rubber tyres, but if you will have patience I
think I can promise to show you _that_ at least.

One night our Mr. Bowles came home late from a meeting of the P.P.S., fell
asleep at once and had what he regarded as a "transmigratory experience in
a retrogressive sense." The world was not the world he knew. He perceived
that it was sundown on the 8th of August, 1215, that he was no longer plain
Bowles, but rather Sir Bors the Bowless, Knight of the Artful Arm, and
known to his intimates as "The Fire-eater"; that he had just been
challenged to fight his seven hundred and forty-seventh fight, and (for the
seven hundred and forty-seventh time) he had accepted. He soon added to the
s