re--if tired, if not
tired, if I did wrong in any thing,--or, if you please, _right_ in any
thing--(only, not one more word about my 'kindness,' which, to get
done with, I will grant is exceptive)--but, let us so arrange matters
if possible,--and why should it not be--that my great happiness, such
as it will be if I see you, as this morning, from time to time, may be
obtained at the cost of as little inconvenience to you as we can
contrive. For an instance--just what strikes me--they all say here I
speak very loud--(a trick caught from having often to talk with a deaf
relative of mine). And did I stay too long?

I will tell _you_ unhesitatingly of such 'corrigenda'--nay, I will
again say, do not humiliate me--_do not_ again,--by calling me 'kind'
in that way.

I am proud and happy in your friendship--now and ever. May God bless
you!

R.B.

_E.B.B. to R.B._

Wednesday Morning.
[Post-mark, May 22, 1845.]

Indeed there was nothing wrong--how could there be? And there was
everything right--as how should there not be? And as for the 'loud
speaking,' I did not hear any--and, instead of being worse, I ought to
be better for what was certainly (to speak it, or be silent of it,)
happiness and honour to me yesterday.

Which reminds me to observe that you are so restricting our
vocabulary, as to be ominous of silence in a full sense, presently.
First, one word is not to be spoken--and then, another is not. And
why? Why deny me the use of such words as have natural feelings
belonging to them--and how can the use of such be 'humiliating' to
_you_? If my heart were open to you, you could see nothing offensive
to you in any thought there or trace of thought that has been
there--but it is hard for you to understand, with all your psychology
(and to be reminded of it I have just been looking at the preface of
some poems by some Mr. Gurney where he speaks of 'the reflective
wisdom of a Wordsworth and the profound psychological utterances of a
Browning') it is hard for you to understand what my mental position is
after the peculiar experience I have suffered, and what [Greek: ti
emoi kai soi][1] a sort of feeling is irrepressible from me to you,
when, from the height of your brilliant happy sphere, you ask, as you
did ask, for personal intercourse with me. What words but 'kindness'
... but 'gratitude'--