"There's a new chap in Sharpe's house this
term, one of the biggest mules you ever saw--his name's Sarah."

"What," replied his friend--"is he an ugly little cad with a turn-up
nose, and yellow kid gloves, that gets lines every day from the doctor,
and can't kick a football as high as his own head? Rather! I know
him."

It was impossible to go on much longer at this rate. The atmosphere was
getting warm all round, and the storm evidently might break at any
moment.

Fortunately for them, the Urbans, of their own accord, averted the
peril.

"If you've done lunch," said Quin, "we'd better get to business. Our
fellows go in for something besides tuck, don't they, Flitwick?"

"Rather," said Flitwick; "we haven't got a Latin motto that won't parse,
but we meet to improve our minds, not stuff our bodies. I vote Mr Quin
takes the chair."

"All serene," said Quin, perching himself on a hamper. "I now call upon
Mr Brown iii. to read us his paper on 'Remains.'"

This was the first mention of my old comrade. During the interchange of
courtesies during lunch he had kept steadily silent, anxious, no doubt,
to spare my feelings. But now his chance was come. It was reserved to
him to show off the Urbans on their intellectual side.

But before he could come to the front and clear his throat for action,
Langrish had loudly called the Philosophers to order.

"Now, you fellows," said he, "we have our programme to get through, and
we are not going to give it up, even if our place of meeting was
swarming with day idiots. Mr President, you had better lead off."

Thus called upon, I loudly summoned Mr Philosopher Trimble to open the
debate on the subject of "Beauty," venturing to add,--

"Some fellows, I've been told, discuss subjects they know nothing about,
such as 'Remains,' and that sort of thing; but the Conversation Club
makes a point of sticking to what they are familiar with, and that is
why we speak to-day of Beauty."

It would not be easy to give a verbatim report of the proceedings which
followed, for each party was evidently more attentive to what fell from
the other side than to what fell from its own. And each speaker was
evidently less concerned to impress his friends than his enemies.

But any one who had chanced to stand on the ridge above, half-way
between the two parties, would have heard a medley somewhat of the
following kind,--

"Gentlemen, in addressing you on the subject of remains--"

"--I