compelled to vacate the chair for a few moments, in order to
discuss the matter further with Warminster. On order being restored,
the minutes proceeded--

"The Philosophers soon made it too hot for these mules, and they were
only allowed to stay on the ground as it amused us to see their idiotic
sniggers. The paper on 'Beauty' was rot, and invoked well-deserved
hisses."

"Say that again," ejaculated the outraged Trimble.

"_That_! there you are," said Langrish hurriedly. But Trimble had more
to say on the subject, and once again the meeting became warm and dusty.

"Order, please; let's hear the rest," said I, when both had been brushed
down by their friends.

"As for Sarah's speech in reply, it was the drivellingest balderdash you
ever heard. It made the club blush."

"That speaks well for it," I suggested mildly.

The meeting did not seem to know how exactly to take this, but concluded
it was meant to be complimentary, and contented themselves with ordering
me to "shut up" if I didn't want to be kicked out.

"Tempest (loud cheers) turned up presently and backed us up (cheers).
The baboons weren't in it in the sports. We pulled off the tug of war
on our heads (cheers), and their speeches were even drivellinger than
Trim's and Sarah's. (Interruption.) Just at the end a howling sneak
and cad and outsider called Jarman came, and lagged us all, including
Tempest. (Groans.) Our president behaved like a mutton-head
throughout. Going home, the Philosophers led by several miles. The
meeting then adjourned for extra drill in the gym. to-day, and mean to
pay Jarman out." (Cheers.)

The patriotic sentiment with which the minutes concluded did away with
any little difference arising earner is the evening, and they were
carried unanimously.

It was then moved, seconded, thirded, fourthed, and fifthed, "that
Jarman be, and is hereby, hung, and ought to be kicked."

It was further agreed, "that Tempest be elected an Honorary Philosopher,
and be let off entrance fee."

Also, "that the town cads are about the biggest outsiders going."

Also, "that Trimble be requested to wash his face."

This last was not carried without some opposition, Trimble's amendment,
"that you be hung," being lost only by a narrow minority. Finally it
was resolved unanimously--

"That the Philosophers' Conversation Club make it hot all round for any
one who doesn't want to kick Jarman or back up Tempest."

With which highly satis