kward one, for not only was the skipper of the
opposition barge landed, and awaiting us with an uncomplimentary
eagerness on the bank, but the driver, whip in hand, was standing beside
him, and the dog, showing his teeth, beside him.

"Kotched yer, are we?" said the former, with a deplorable profuseness of
unnecessary verbiage, as he jumped on board. "We tho't as much. Lend
me that there whip, Bill."

"You tip 'em over, Tom; I'll make 'em jump."

Escape was impossible. Our exits were in the hands of the enemy. We
made one feeble attempt to temporise.

"We're sorry," said I, in my capacity as spokesman. "We didn't know it
was your boat, really."

"You knows it now," said the proprietor. "Over you go, or I'll 'elp
yer."

What I was it a case of being pitched overboard? We looked round
desperately for hope, but there was none. We might by a concerted
action have tackled one man, but the other on the bank, with the whip
and the dog, was a formidable second line to carry. It needed all our
philosophy to sustain us in the emergency.

"Come, wake up," shouted the man. "'Ere, Tike, come!"

Whereupon, to our terror, the dog leapt up on to the barge, and jumped
yapping in our midst.

"T'other side, if _you_ please," said the bargee, as I prepared dismally
to take my header on the near side. "Wake 'im up, Tike!"

I needed no waking up; and giving myself up for lost, bounded to the
other side of the barge, and made a floundering jump overboard. Luckily
for us the Low Heathens could swim to a man, and if all that we were in
for was to swim round that hideous barge and get ashore, we should have
been easily out of it. But we had yet to reckon with the man and the
whip, who in his turn made every preparation to reckon with us.

I was the first to taste his mettle. He had me twice before I could get
clear, and I seem to feel it as I write. One by one the luckless and
dripping Philosophers ran the gauntlet of that fatal debarkation, which
was by no means alleviated by the opprobrious hilarity of our two
castigators and the delighted yappings of Tike.

At last it was all over, and, dripping and smarting, we collected our
shattered forces a quarter of a mile down the towing-path, and hastily
agreed that as a meeting-place for Philosophers a barge was not a
desirable place. It was further agreed, that if we could catch the day
boys who were the source of all our woes (for if our barge had not been
let adrift,