To sordid slow decay!

* * * * *

DANTE NOT "IN IT"!--The Italian language is to be excluded from the
Indian Civil Service Examination. "The story is extant, and written
in very choice Italian," said _Hamlet_, and SHAKSPEARE knew that the
reference would be intelligible to his audience. But _Hamlet_ "up to
date" in this "so-called nineteenth century" would be compelled to
give the speech thus, "The original story, I believe, is written in
the Italian language, with which none of us here are acquainted."
But, after all, the candidates may be inclined to adapt the
Gilbert-Sullivan words and music to the occasion, and sing--

"So, in spite of all temptation,
At the next examination
They'll bar I-tal-i-an!"

Though, years hence, it may happen that they'll be sorry they weren't
compelled to get up Italian as one of the subjects.

* * * * *

"O WOMAN, IN OUR HOUR OF EASE!"--which line would make a suitable
motto for our very useful, chatty, and interesting weekly contemporary
entitled _Woman. A propos_ of "headings," the only one in the
above-mentioned publication to which objection can possibly be taken
"on the face of it" is "Wrinkles." Wouldn't "Whispers" be better? It
is quite enough for _Woman_ to appear with lines, but it's too bad
that wrinkles should be added while she is yet so young.

* * * * *

"CHARLES OUR FRIEND."--Once again occurs an illustration of the
applicability of Dickensian characters to modern instances. In last
Thursday's _Times_, by special Razzle-Dalziel wire, we read of the
return of another great Arctic explorer, Mr. WASHBURTON PIKE, after
having braved dangers demanding the most dauntless courage. Here,
then, are two single gentlemen rolled into one: it is _Pike_ and
_Pluck_ combined.

* * * * *

[Illustration: BEATUS POSSIDENS.

"I'VE COME ABOUT A JOB. I HEARD THERE WAS A BOY WANTED."

"OH, YOU 'EARD AS THERE WAS A BOY WANTED, DID YER? THEN YOU'RE JUST
TOO LATE, 'COS MASTER'S SOOTED!"]

* * * * *

WANTED FOR THE ETON LOAN COLLECTION.

1. The earliest specimen of the Birch. (_Suggested by a Merry Swish
Boy._)

2. Salt-cellar used for holding the Salt at Montem time.

3. Specimen of Haberdashery, from an Eton "Sock" shop.

4. Model of the most powerful "Long-glass" from "Tap."

5. Chips from th