ut all he'd done for the Party, and how "the shabby beggars"
had refused his nephew the Morterton Recordership. It seems the other
side manage their business much better. Next I called on Uncle HENRY
in the City. He said he'd stick to his promise of paying half my
expenses, but wouldn't help me to nurse the place. However, I daresay
that won't cost much. Eventually wrote to Old TOLLAND, and asked
him to call at my Chambers on Thursday at 3 o'clock. Then went home
and told my mother. She said, "My darling boy, I knew you would be
distinguished. I knew it all along. If your dear father had only
lived, he would have been a proud man to-day. Now, mind you have that
horrid grating removed from the Ladies' Gallery." And with that she
kissed me and rang for cook to tell her the news. I sloped.

On Thursday Old TOLLAND called. It seems he's an Alderman, and I
only addressed him as plain Esquire. He wanted to know, What were my
views on the Labour Question? Was I an Eight Hours' man? How about
Vaccination and Woman's Suffrage? and all kinds of other rubbish.
I had to beat about a good deal, and answer generally, but at last
I consented to address the Council, and to-morrow was fixed as the
day. If accepted, I shall have to come before a Mass Meeting, and go
through it all again. It all seems rather roundabout, but I suppose
it's the usual way.

(_To be continued._)

* * * * *

THE RIGHTS OF COUNSEL.

(_BY A CLIENT_.)

Oh, what are the "rights" of the Q.C.?
The point of the question but few see.
Those rights are to do
What suits _him_, if not _you_!
Faith! that's the whole business _in nuce_!

* * * * *

JOKIN'S LATEST.--"The Surplus will be anything but a _dry_ subject
this year, as it is owing to a steady or (probably) unsteady
consumption of Drink!"

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

_House of Commons, Monday, March 23_.--Easter Holidays begin
to-morrow; to-night last rally round RAIKES; Postmaster harried from
both sides of House; the Contumacious COBB begins it; comments on
Coroner's conduct beginning to pall on accustomed appetite; references
to delicate investigation in judicial circles falling flat; so turns
upon POSTMASTER-GENERAL. Wants to know about the Boy Messengers?
Pack in full cry; RAIKES pelted with newspapers, assailed with
over-weighted le