dident hear the raskle's insultin remarks, but I
was secretly itchin to be a silent spectator to his funeral, and see his
miserable carciss sunk down under about 6 foot of free sile. I
continnered;

"You see before you, Faith, Hope & Charity, otherwise called the 3
graces," said I, pintin to my darters, who looked as sheepish as if they
was jest let loose from a femail convenshun, or some other loonatick
asylum.

"Yer cant cram that stuff down our gullets, no more'n I can stand on
this sugar bole without mashin it" said a vile youth, ceasin the sugar
bole from the silver tea sarvice and settin his foot onto it. "Them gals
haint no more faith in hoops and charity, than I have that the french
peeple can live under a Republican form of government." Said another
chap: "Oh, no, old GREEN, them tow-headed maidens is your darters,
JOHANNER, BETTY, and MARIAR, Jr."

"Leed us to the bankett halls," says some one else.

"Come, do as yer (hic!) 'greed, and give us some pirotecknicks," some one
else yelled; at this juncture all was hollerin vociferously for vittles
and whiskey.

I assure you, Mr. PUNCHINELLO, it was very _affectin_.

In fact, I don't believe there was a _dry mouth_ in the crowd.

"I blush for every drunken soul of you," said I, wishing to get rid if
em; "and I want you to understand this meetin is adjourned to sober
off."

I noticed that the 3 graces had left the room, while the assemblage was
vainly endeavorin to git hold of the silver tea sarvice.

Suddenly the back parler door was busted open, and Mrs. GREEN and my 3
gals rushed in with pans of hot water and broomsticks, and if ever I
enjoyed seein a lot of people baptized, it was that ere crowd, who was a
yellin "bloody murder," as the hot water made their hides curl up.

"Go It, My Sweet Dears," Said I, "Peel Off Their Skins, And You Shall
All Have A Bran New Caliker Apiece To-Morrer Mornin."

Well, sir, in quicker time than I can write this, the house was cleared
and the front door locked agin em; but my troubles had only just
commenced, for I had, figerately speakin, jumped from the fryin pan into
the fire.

"HIRAM GREEN," said MARIAR, backin me up into a corner, "you old sinner,
you, look at that senter table, all scratched up with heels of a pair of
drunken cow-hide butes. Look at my work basket; it looks as if a
percession of hogs had been marchin into it.--See that nice rag carpet
which took me over 6 months to make; what is it? eh! it's