dvise all
my readers to cut out and paste in some convenient place so that at
their next dinner party it can be readily consulted.

STEWART'S LIGHTNING CALCULATOR OF DINNER TABLE CONVERSATION

This chart divides the dinner into its various courses, and under each
course is given what I call an "opening sentence," together with your
partner's probable reply and the topic which is then introduced for
discussion. And, most valuable of all, under each such topic I have
listed certain helpful facts which will enable you to prolong the
conversation along those lines until the arrival of the next course,
and the consequent opening of another field for discussion. The chart
follows:

I. Cocktails.

You say to the partner on your right: "What terrible gin!" She (he)
replies: "Perfectly ghastly." This leads to a discussion of: Some
Aspects of Alcohol. Helpful Facts:

1. An oyster soaked in alcohol becomes quite rigid in eleven minutes.

2. Senator Volstead was born Sept. 4, 1869.

3. Alcohol, if taken in too great quantities, often produces internal
disorders.

II. Oysters.

You say to the partner on your right: "Think of being an oyster!"

She (he) replies: "How perfectly ghastly."

This leads to a discussion of: Home Life of Oysters.

Helpful Facts:

1. The average life of an oyster is 38 days, 11 hours.

2. Polygamy is practised among certain classes of oysters.

3. The first oyster was eaten by Ossip Gatch, a Pole (d. 1783).

III. Fish.

You say to the partner at your right: "Do you enjoy fish?"

She (he) replies: "I simply adore fish."

This leads to a discussion of: Fish--Then, and Now.

Helpful Facts:

1. Fish make notoriously bad pets, whereas seals can be taught to do
many novel tricks.

2. Gloucester (Mass.) smells badly in summer.

3. Gloucester (Mass.) smells badly in winter.

IV. Meat. You say to the partner at your right: "Have you ever been
through the Stock-Yards?"

She (he) replies: "No." ("Yes.")

This leads to a discussion of: "The Meat Industry in America."

Helpful Facts:

1. Every time a street car goes over the Brooklyn Bridge, a steer is
killed in Chicago--and oftener.

2. Raw beefsteak in quantities is harmful to children under two years of
age.

3. A man died recently in Topeka, Kansas, weighing 312 pounds.

4. Many prominent people live on the North Side of Chicago.

V. Salad.

You say to the partner at your right: "What is your favorite salad?"

She (h