fter the customary words of greeting and a few
brief bits of pleasantry, you set off with your partner for the dance.

Arrived at the East Shore Club, you find the party in "full swing,"
and after shaking hands with your host and hostess, you should ask your
partner if she would care to dance.

The first three times that she steps on your left foot, you should
politely murmur, "My fault." But when she begins to sing in your ear it
is proper to steer her over toward the "stag line" in order to petition
for an injunction or a temporary restraining order.

The "stag line" consists of a group of the wisest, shrewdest and most
hard-hearted young men ever gathered together under one roof. The
original purpose of a "stag line" was to provide a place where
unattached young men might stand while searching for a partner, but the
institution has now come to be a form of Supreme Court, passing life or
death sentence upon the various debutantes who pass before it.

After you have piloted your partner five times along the length of this
line you have a pretty fair idea as to her merits or demerits, and, in
this particular case, you have a pretty fair idea as to just what the
evening holds out for you. When the music stops you should therefore
lead the girl over to a chair and ask to be allowed to bring her a glass
of punch.

Instead of going directly to the punch bowl, you should turn your steps
toward the "stag line." There you will find several young men whom only
as late as that afternoon you counted among your very best friends, but
who do not, at the present, seem to remember ever having met you before.
Seizing the arm of one of these you say, "Tom, I want you to meet----"
That is as far as you will get, for Tom will suddenly interrupt you
by remarking, "Excuse me a minute, Ed--, I see a girl over there I've
simply got to speak to. I'll come right back."

He will not come right back. He will not come back at all. And after you
have met with the same response from four other so-called friends, you
should return to the South Orange visitor and "carry on."

At the end of the second hour, however, your mind should begin to
clear, and if you are at all possessed of the qualifications for future
ballroom leadership, you should gradually throw off the slough of
despond and determine to make a fight for life, liberty and the pursuit
of happiness. And when the music has once more ceased, you should ask
your partner if she would no