left standing in the cup,
that the coffee is being served from the right instead of the left side,
and that the lettering of the motto on the wall too nearly resembles
the German style to be quite "au fait" in the home of any red-blooded
American citizen.}

{illustration caption = Dessert has been reached and the gentleman
in the picture is perspiring freely--in itself a deplorable breach of
etiquette. He has been attempting all evening to engage the ladies on
either side of him in conversation on babies, Camp's Reducing Exercises,
politics, Camp's Developing Exercises, music or Charlie Chaplin, only to
be rebuffed by a haughty chin on the one hand and a cold shoulder on
the other. If he had taken the precaution to consult Stewart's Lightning
Calculator of Dinner Table Conversation (one of the many aids to social
success to be found in PERFECT BEHAVIOR) he would have realized the
bad taste characterizing his choice of topics and would not have made
himself a marked figure at this well-appointed dinner table.}

CHAPTER NINE: THE ETIQUETTE OF DINNERS AND BALLS

FORMAL DINNERS IN AMERICA

Eating is an extremely old custom and has been practiced by the better
classes of society almost without interruption from earliest times. And
"society," like the potentate of the parable whose touch transformed
every object into gold, has embellished and adorned the all-too-common
habit of eating, until there has been evolved throughout the ages that
most charming and exquisite product of human culture--the formal dinner
party. The gentleman of today who delightedly dons his dress suit and
escorts into a ten-course dinner some lady mountain climber or other
celebrity, is probably little aware of what he owes to his forefathers
for having so painstakingly devised for him such a pleasant method of
spending his time.

But "before one runs, one must learn to walk"--and the joys of the
dinner-party are not to be partaken of without a long preliminary course
of training, as many a young man has learned to his sorrow when he
discovered that his inelegant use of knife and fork was causing humorous
comment up and down the "board" and was drawing upon himself the haughty
glances of an outraged hostess. The first requisite of success in dining
out is the possession of a complete set of correct table manners--and
these, like anything worth while, can be achieved only by patient study
and daily practise.

TABLE MANNERS FOR CHILDREN