e go up and attend to it."

"What?" cried Alice in amazement. "You don't mean to say you give it the
moon?"

"Not exactly," said the Dormouse. "We just promise to give it. That's
one of the strong points about Municipal Ownership. It's the easiest
system to make promises under you ever knew. You can promise anything,
and later on if you don't make good you can promise something better,
and so on. It works very well in a great many places."

[Illustration: "WE RESPOND IMMEDIATELY TO THE CALL"]

"But that isn't really what we go up to the house for. We go up to
relieve the poor tired parents who have been working hard all day and
are too weary to walk up and down the floor with the baby. We respond
immediately to the call, grab up the baby and walk the floor with him
until he is quiet again. Once last winter a chap with three pairs of
twins six months, a year and a half, and three years old respectively,
had to send for the patrol wagon. All six of 'em waked up and began to
squall at once and we sent seven ossifers and a sergeant up to look
after them. They had to parade around that house from 2 A. M. until
seven-thirty before those babies quit yelling."

Just at this moment the Dormouse was interrupted in his story by a
raggedly dressed old man on a pair of crutches who begged an alms of
him.

"Only a dollar, sir," he asked piteously. "Only a dollar to relieve a
terrible case of distress."

"Certainly, Simpkins," said the Dormouse kindly. "I--well I'll be
jiggered--" he added, feeling through his pockets. "I must have left my
money at home. Maybe this young lady can help you out. Miss Alice,
permit me to introduce you to Simpkins. He's the most successful beggar
in nineteen counties."

"Glad to meet you," said Alice, shaking hands with Simpkins.

"You couldn't spare a dollar, could you, Miss?" whined the Beggar. "It
will relieve a terrible case of distress Ma'am.

"Why--yes," said Alice, suddenly remembering that she had a silver
dollar in her pocket. "Here it is."

And she handed it to Simpkins who thanked her profusely.

"How's business?" asked the Dormouse.

"Fine," said Simpkins, executing a jig. "I've collected $800 since eleven
o'clock this morning."

[Illustration: "MADE OFF WITH THE AGILITY OF AN ANTELOPE"]

Whereupon, forgetting his crutches, he made off up the street with the
agility of an antelope. Alice gazed after him in wonder.

"I--I didn't suppose you had any beggars in Blunderland," s