f
hers if not by blood or marriage at least by wire, which is stronger
than either. Some day instead of having Societies of the Cincinnati, and
Sons and Daughters of the Revolution I hope to see associations of
Brothers and Sisters of the Municipaphone which shall become a factor of
overwhelming solidarity in all social and political affairs.

"It's a splendid scheme," said Alice.

"It is a tie of material strength which binds together our first and
last families, increasing the pride of the latter, and diminishing that
of the former until we have at last reached an average of
self-satisfaction which knows no barriers of class distinction," said
the Hatter. "But it wouldn't have worked if we hadn't formulated strict
rules by which every household in town is governed. One of our rules is
that the person called upon must answer immediately and truthfully any
question which the person at the other end asks, and of course in
perfectly polite language. For instance, suppose you try it yourself.
Just ring up Number 83115, Bloomingdale, and ask for Mrs. S. Van
Livingston Smythe. She's the biggest swell in town. Ask her anything
that comes into your head, and you'll see how it works. Tell her you are
Mrs. O'Flaherty, the Head Wash-Lady of the Municipal Laundry."

Alice took her place at the Municipaphone and called 83115 Bloomingdale,
as instructed.

"Hello!" she said.

"Hush! Don't say that--say Ah there!" interrupted the Hatter. "Hello
comes under the head of profanity, which is against the law."

"Excuse me," said Alice. "Ah there!" she added. "Give me 83115
Bloomingdale, please, Central."

"Name, please," said Central.

"Bridget O'Flaherty," replied Alice.

"Address?" asked Central.

"Tub 37, Municipal Laundry," said Alice.

"Occupation?" continued the other.

"Wringer," laughed Alice.

"All right, there you are," said Central, making the desired connection.

"Is this Mrs. S. Van Livingston Smythe?" asked Alice.

"Yes," said a sweet voice from the other end of the line. "What is it?"

"I am Bridget O'Flaherty," said Alice, "of the Municipal Laundry, and I
wanted to ask was your grandfather ever a monkey?"

It was not a very polite question, but under the excitement of the
moment Alice could think of nothing better to ask.

"I don't believe so, Mrs. O'Flaherty," came the sweet voice in answer.
"I have looked over every branch of our family tree and there isn't a
cocoanut on it. Why, are you looking for